8 Meals You Should Avoid Ordering At Your Local Diner

Diners are known for their kitschy coziness and extensive menus, but just because the menu is huge doesn't mean everything on it is worth ordering — in fact, just the opposite. Obviously, not all diners are the same, but with a menu that big, a lot of the time this makes for some pretty mediocre (or bland, at best) meals. Because no matter how good a chef you are, nobody specializes in that many different types of dishes.

And sure, local diners can be affordable (emphasis on "can" as a lot of them are still pretty expensive these days), which is great ... unless you make the unfortunate choice of choosing one of the establishments that offer such affordable meals due to their use of lower quality (and less expensive) ingredients. Regardless, it's important not to expect too much when it comes to a local diner, while still hoping for the best (and remember that, usually, you can't go too wrong with the simpler menu items). Generally speaking, here are eight meals you should avoid ordering at your local diner.

Ordering a salad at a diner might not be a great idea, especially if you're doing so as a means of eating healthy. Sure, it may technically have some vegetables in it, but the dressing and toppings are almost guaranteed to be overly caloric. Seriously, that "lighter fare" you think you're ordering is probably over a thousand calories. Not only are diner salads not as healthy as you think, they're also likely made with lettuce that isn't the freshest and veggies that have been pre-cut (for who knows how long).

Another reason you might want to avoid diner salads is due to safety reasons, as many restaurants in general serve pre-cut vegetables, rather than preparing them in-house. Plus, there's just no way to know if the ingredients have been washed properly, and since salads aren't cooked (and therefore ridded of bacteria), they're more likely to make you sick in this instance. For a lighter option without the risk, perhaps visit another type of restaurant that specializes in lighter options — the local diner is not your friend in this instance.

Imagine I am taking your face kindly in my hands as I say this: Why are you ordering seafood in a diner? Do they specialize in seafood? Is this a specifically seafood-based diner, famous for its freshly caught fish? No? Then let's have a little talk.

When you order seafood at a diner, you're most likely not being served fresh fish. Honestly, the best case scenario is that you're eating frozen fish because while the quality won't be the greatest, at least it won't make you sick (and will probably taste just okay). The exception here would be if the diner is located near the water – in this instance, you might be okay, regionally speaking. For example, should you visit a local diner on the coast of Maine, ordering the lobster might not be such a bad idea (in fact, it might be incredible). But when it comes to diners inland, even the writers on SNL can tell you: Nobody orders lobster at a diner.

Look, the pasta served at your local diner might not make you ill. Heck, it might even taste fine. The biggest problem is that you're just not getting much value for what you paid for. First of all, pasta is generally pretty cheap to make, so therefore a pasta dish makes more money for the restaurant than other dishes do, generally speaking. This means you're paying way more than what the dish is actually worth.

This is especially true when it comes to tomato or red-based sauce, since diners are fast-paced and quality red sauces take more time and preparation than they might have the bandwidth for. So let's get one thing straight: That pasta sauce is not homemade and is probably coming straight out of a jar bought at the store. This isn't the most horrible offense, but it's not exactly worth your money. Unless your local diner specializes in pasta dishes — and they certainly don't if there's only one pasta item on the menu — skip it. You can do better.

Ordering soup at a diner might be the worst offense, as far as ordering things at diners goes. Homemade soups just take too much time, and most diners won't put in this effort because it doesn't make sense, value-wise. This means that the soup you just ordered is probably coming from a can. Sure, this doesn't mean it will taste terrible — but it certainly won't be high quality.

Another reason you're definitely not getting soup worth your money is that chances are it's been sitting around for who knows how long in a fridge. Soup is very easy to freeze or refrigerate and keep on-hand to reheat, so the canned soup you'd be getting might not have even been poured out of its package today. But, hey, if you happen to be at a diner that is well-known for its made-from-scratch soups, by all means, order that soup. If not, just go to the store and buy a can of soup for a couple of bucks.

Typically, it's a good idea to avoid daily specials when ordering at a diner, whether or not they've been recited to you by a server or handed to you via a printout. This is because, a lot of the time, those specials are about getting rid of ingredients that are about to go bad in the kitchen, rather than giving you, the special customer, the special gift of a cheaper meal.

Of course, this isn't always true and you could always ask the server bluntly (but kindly). But if that daily special isn't related to obviously seasonal ingredients, skipping it is best. You don't want to pay for leftovers, do you? Of course you don't. But that kitchen wants to get rid of that food, and this meal is not the deal you think you're getting. And all of this doesn't necessarily mean the food will make you sick but let's face it ...it doesn't not mean that, either.

Say it ain't so: How could such a classic and beloved breakfast dish be on a list of meals to avoid ordering at a diner? Well, the fact is, there are a lot of common mistakes associated with making eggs Benedict and ordering it is a total crapshoot. It's a complicated dish with specific steps and by ordering it, you're basically allowing yourself to be a test subject for how good the chef's egg poaching skills are. And it's also pretty easy to make mistakes when poaching eggs. This necessity for precision here might not pair well with the hustle and bustle of a diner.

And the Hollandaise sauce is a test all on its own. Chances are that if you order eggs Benedict at a diner, you're probably eating old Hollandaise sauce that was pre-made earlier in the day. This can potentially be a breeding ground for bacteria in a high-temperature kitchen, due to the use of egg yolks in the Hollandaise recipe.

I've personally watched dear friends try to order caramel macchiatos at local diners, followed by questioning the server about the types of milk they have and if the drink could be completely made non-dairy. In these moments, I stare at them and wonder what in the world they think they're doing. No, the server answers, because the caramel technically has some dairy in it. I watch my friend's face fall, as if they are just remembering where they are.

Sure, there are occasionally fancy lattes and coffee drinks on diner menus, but this does not mean you are at a specialty coffee establishment. If you're expecting a high-quality fancy latte, think again. Most diner employees aren't trained baristas – this isn't a Starbucks. The fancy coffee drink you're ordering is probably going to be the most basic variation of the beverage possible. That said, depending on who you ask, regular diner coffee, generally, is either the most amazing drink to ever exist or the worst thing they've ever drank. But when it comes to diner coffee, probably keep it simple and get the stuff from the coffee pot.

Imagine you're sitting at a diner with a new friend, and the server comes along to take your order. Your new friend unbelievably orders a steak. You are horrified. Who is this person you have let into your life?

Unless it's the classic diner meal of chicken-fried steak, you shouldn't be ordering steak at a diner. Actually, you really shouldn't be ordering a steak at any place other than a steakhouse or establishment that specializes in them. The reason for this is that diner steak is most likely going to be basic, not worth your money, and disappointingly small. At a steakhouse, you're at least paying premium prices for quality steak. Many people agree that you're better off making a steak in your own kitchen than ordering it at a diner or cheap restaurant. Then again, if you're okay with steak of lesser quality that is technically edible, order away, friend.