6 Worst Starbucks Orders, According To Baristas

Baristas don't get enough credit. All day, they're barked at by an unending line of undercaffeinated, impatient customers who tend to demand a standard of craftsmanship from which they'll accept no deviation, and yet do not often seem to appreciate. The baristas at Starbucks, magnet as it is for those inclined toward all manner of experimental customizations, bear the brunt of the public's general indifference toward their labors; an indifference that is particularly mystifying, as their entire job is working tirelessly to bring your weird, frothy visions to fruition.

Of course, that doesn't mean that the barista grinding away at your epic litany of stipulated syrups and half-caffeinated cravings is particularly happy to help. Which is to say, some orders are worse than others. Whether that's because they're a complicated mess to make, or considered by the professionals concocting them to be basically undrinkable, depends on the order in question, and there's a fair amount of crossover between the two.

Here's the bottom of the barrel, according to a consensus of baristas on social media. To ensure that there wasn't some unlikely bot convention commissioned by a few disgruntled and vengeful baristas, we also corroborated the picks by talking with real-life Starbucks coffee slingers in Richmond, Virginia. Their names have been changed to protect them from the ire of management and rabid customers alike.

If you're ordering this one, chances are pretty high that you might be a little bit extra yourself. Besides being a time-consuming drink to make, something about this slightly modified menu item in particular seems to draw out the inner Gordon Ramsay of whoever's ordering it.

A type of Frappuccino made with a particularly dark caramel and finished with whipped cream and a crunchy caramel topping, the Caramel Ribbon Crunch is an undeniably enticing creation, and its preparation requires an attention to detail that puts the "care" in "caramel." Especially when it's ordered with extra. Which is exactly why it's so frustrating for the people making it.

In the viral comment thread of a Reddit post, user HoboSmell writes, "They're actually kinda fun to make ngl, but the reason I hate it so much is because I will dress that b**** up, help her with her make up, get her the sugar covered mani she deserves, only to hand it out and have the customer go 'ummm theres not enough extra, can you redo it?'" The comment has over 500 upvotes, and goes on to describe customers sighing "like a widow staring wistfully out over the sea, waiting for her man to return from the war" while they remake the drink. It's truly a delightful read. Almost as delightful as a caramel ribbon crunch (extra caramel).

While it might sound like a quick and easy way to cool off a hot drink, adding cold foam to something warm is sort of a waste because it melts immediately. It's also become something of a pet peeve among baristas. Rowan at a Richmond, Virginia Starbucks says this is mostly down to a workflow called "sequencing," which allows the baristas to process multiple orders at once. Cold foam essentially throws a wrench in this.

"Basically, you start making one drink, and then when you get halfway through it, you start making another," Rowan says. The problem with cold foam is that it requires the barista's full attention, so instead of juggling multiple drink orders at a time, they're only able to focus on one. The ripple effect on every other order dangling from the ticket machine can be catastrophic.

What this means is that one order of a hot drink with cold foam can extend the wait times for several customers in line, adding frustration to both sides of the coffee bar. Being trained in coffee preparation rather than acting, baristas are occasionally poor at concealing their disdain for the modification, which seems to baffle customers, some of whom have complained about being shamed for their order. Ultimately, you should order what you want, but don't be surprised if you're asked to confirm your cold-foam concoction multiple times so that everyone is on the same page about this time-consuming drink topping being a little melted by the time you receive it.

That's right, the Frappuccino. It's arguably the most iconic drink at Starbucks (which is distinct from competing frappes, yet not actually invented by Starbucks), and your barista probably hates making it. A sugary, blended iced coffee drink that more closely resembles dessert than a cup of coffee — though the caffeine content might make it an unwise after-dinner choice — the classic recipe itself is fairly simple: coffee, cream, ice, and flavoring syrups. While there are some seasonal iterations that are actually complicated, it's mostly the long, clunky process of jumping from espresso machine to blender that bricks up the flow of orders, and earns the famous frozen treat its place on this list.

"Mostly hate them because they are so time consuming to make (especially if there's a lot of them) compared to any other drink. Also because if it moves you away from hot bar [sic], a line of drinks can quickly stack up while you are working on 'ONE' Frappuchino [sic]. The fraps just ruin all your pacing." says Reddit user Emperors_Finest.

Sure, it's their job to make these. But what they're actually lamenting here is the way in which these things interfere with efficient service. So don't be deterred from ordering them, but it's definitely something worth keeping in mind next time you're sweating out a snaking summertime line. 

If you've been blissfully ignorant of the crossroads at which TikTok and Starbucks have met and apparently struck a deal with the devil, go ahead and keep getting your drip on. In the much more likely event that you are in fact hip to the Secret Menu phenomenon, there's something very important you need to know: it's called "secret" because not only is it unofficial, but it wasn't even developed by Starbucks. Which means your baristas were not trained on the preparation of these bizarre, relentlessly trending concoctions. In other words, they're probably not in on the secret.

Are you ordering that "Liquid Cocaine" or "Squid Game Frappuccino" by name and expecting your barista to hop to it? Chances are pretty slim it's being made with much love (though you might save yourself — and your drink — some scorn if it's slow and you ask nicely for something like the Brownie Frappuccino).

"They're usually annoying, overly complicated for no reason and frustrating cause a lot of customers will come in and order them expecting us to know every single one of them as if there's a secret book we keep full of these recipes," says user toxic-punch. Instead, you'll have to order your Minnie Mouse Frappuccino ingredient by ingredient as a White Mocha Cream Frappuccino with a list of modifications, and hope the baristas don't deem it an act of aggression.  

Starbucks is known for accommodating comically modified drinks. You probably can't even hear the words "triple half calf skinny mochaccino no whip" without seeing the siren in the green circle. The baristas, on the other hand, are more likely to see red.

Bonnie, a barista in Richmond, Virginia, says the company has basically institutionalized every employee's worst nightmare with the introduction of Modification Monday. "It's free modifications on the drinks, but a lot of them fill up the whole side of the cup," Bonnie says. That's not a lazy gripe about not wanting to put in the extra work, but a lamentation about the effect on workflow; "When it's really busy, too, seeing a sticker that's super long and you have to read it like a book, it overwhelms your brain."

It doesn't help matters that the mega-mod customers also apparently skew fast food (and yes, Starbucks is fast food) aficionados and can often tell when a modification has been missed, requiring the barista to start over again. The hassle has prompted some baristas to demand automatic gratuities on complicated orders. Whether that concept is likely to catch on, you are free to contemplate while sipping your Grande White Mocha sub half & half, sub blonde roast, add caramel/ caramel crunch/extra shot/vanilla cold foam/raspberry drizzle. Just, you know, consider adding a tip. 

This one no longer exists, but it's left such an impression that baristas are still talking about it. A purple blend of orange cream flavoring, chia seeds (marketed as "bat warts"), vanilla whipped cream, and green powder, it is widely regarded as the worst Starbucks drink... ever. While the drink special itself didn't last long, the trauma, on the other hand, endures. 

"The witches brew still haunts me — purple drink with an orange creamsicle flavor and green chia seeds floating around inside," says Reddit user sapphosaint. To add to the general aura of witchy failure surrounding the visually striking libation, the color was confusing; we don't generally associate purple with citrus flavors. This led to a fair number of returns and remakes and "purple slime" sliding down the drain.

While there are plenty of secrets to ordering well at Starbucks, none will endow you with the commercial necromancy necessary to exhume this bewitching beverage from its well-earned resting place. The phantom ingredients that haunt baristas to this day simply aren't around to raise their powdery purple and green cackle among the living, and thankful they are for that.

As the largest employer of baristas in the world, the internet is fairly replete with professional gripes and groans. For this article, we picked out the orders identified by multiple users online as the "worst," and then checked with the baristas at a local Starbucks to see what they had to say. Some chose to interpret the question as the worst to drink, others as the worst to make. Surprisingly, there wasn't much difference between the two. The result is this list: a combination of Reddit upvotes, "X" retweets, and real human input on the worst drink orders (that baristas will still make with a smile every time).