8 Sam's Club Bakery Treats, Ranked Worst To Best

When it comes to store-bought desserts, the quality varies massively. And when you have a get-together coming up but you don't have time to bake, pastries from the store are a classic go-to. But then there's the fear of bringing something stale, too sweet, or just a general flop. Even if you're staying in, you don't want to bring something strange home, either.

Well, to help you take the guesswork out of your next sweet-treat occasion, I tried eight of Sam's Club Member's Mark pastries. I've shared my thoughts about each snack's flavor, texture, and how moist they were — that last point is incredibly important to me. I based my final assessment on other versions of the dessert that I've tried. So, whether it's your first time shopping at Sam's Club bakery and you're looking for some tips or you're a seasoned shopper looking for a new favorite dessert, read on to find out which pastries are worth snagging and which you can leave on the shelf.

This trio had a huge disparity between the best and the worst flavor, which unfortunately landed it in last place. The lemon loaf cake was the star of the show. It was delicious, soft, dense, not overly lemony or overly sweet, and I felt a little bit bad ranking it so low. It had a rich, cakey texture that made it moist and satisfying. 

The chocolate loaf was below average. I was underwhelmed by the dryness of the cake and the thin, overly sugary layer of icing on top. The icing also had a grittiness that I could feel between my teeth as I chewed. The strawberry swirl loaf cake was cute, and I liked looking at it on the plate, but the flavor was powerfully artificial. It reminded me of those strawberry candies with the gooey inside and the wrapper that looks like a strawberry (everyone has seen them before, but no one seems to know where these old-fashioned candies come from). And don't get me wrong, I like those strawberry-flavored treats, but I don't necessarily want them as a cake — at all.

The lemon cake being fantastic could have outweighed the artificial strawberry flavor, and certainly outweighed the dry, gritty chocolate loaf, but not both, and this caused the variety pack to be ranked last. Rated alone, though, the lemon loaf would have jumped up the ranking.

This blueberry muffin did not disappoint, but it didn't necessarily blow me away, either. The texture was soft and moist, and tasted fresh for a muffin from the grocery store, which I was definitely impressed (and surprised) by. The blueberries were smaller than average and completely evenly distributed throughout the muffin, so every bite had at least a few flavorful little berries. I was a fan of that, since I'm always disappointed when I get a muffin that's only got two or three massive blueberries as opposed to lots of smaller ones. 

Overall, the flavor was straightforward and sweet with a satisfying, cakey texture. If you like a classic, straight-up blueberry muffin with none of that crumble business going on, this is a great pick. The top was sweet and the tiniest bit gooey, as if it had been brushed lightly with simple syrup at the end. It's certainly a sweet treat, but that's what I'm expecting out of a grocery store muffin. It just didn't really impress, so it ended up on the lower end of the ranking. 

I'll start by saying: I did still enjoy this apple turnover because I am a lover of all things apple and most things pastry. For a packaged turnover, the texture and flakiness of the crust were lighter than I would have expected — though still far from the consistency of a fresh or homemade turnover. The slightly denser crust did allow the bake to retain some moisture. For a store-bought pastry, I think this was preferable to the dried-out texture that a lighter crust might have provided — even if that is more traditional. I also enjoyed the prominent sweetness of the dough and crust, and was glad that they were flavorful all the way through to the center rather than just on the surface.

My big hold up with this pastry was the apple goo inside. The differences in texture and depth of flavor between a homemade apple filling and a store-bought or processed-for-shelf-life filling are quite significant, and this dessert suffered from the use of the latter. If you're looking for a quick and satisfying apple pastry, I'd honestly recommend this at-home apple pie puff for a better result with similar levels of effort. 

This variety pack came with two cheese danishes, one cherry, and one apple danish. I tried all three different flavors so I could judge the pack as a whole, and I'm glad I did. Normally, I would have reached for the apple first, but I was surprised to find that the cherry was actually my favorite. The cheese was in second place, and the apple came in third — though I still enjoyed it.

The tartness of the cherry danish and the quantity of cherry pieces in the filling were the highlights of this selection. The base was sweet and seemed to be brushed with simple syrup, which made it stand out even in bites that had little or no filling. The apple filling was a bit too sweet to be paired with such a saccharine partner, and the cheese danish fell right in the middle of my preferences. It was more on the savory side than the apple, but still ended up being a bit sweeter than the cherry. Overall, the amount that I enjoyed the cherry outweighed the overly sugary apple danish.

If I reach for a cinnamon crunch flavored anything, I know I'm in for a sugar rush, and I certainly got one with the Member's Mark cinnamon crunch muffin. These muffins are absolutely on the sweet side, but I knew that was coming, so I didn't fault this pastry for the sugary experience it provided. The cinnamon spice flavor was highly noticeable in the taste profile, which added a warmth to the muffin that made me think of autumn days and some of my other favorite fall breakfasts. 

I also think this muffin would be delicious paired with a black coffee or heated up on a chilly morning. I was a bit underwhelmed by the crunch of the topping, and it was more like a soft cinnamon sugar layer with the occasional crumble. I love a crunch, so I was missing that textural element, but it still made the top layer the tastiest part of the whole thing. Overall, this muffin pretty much hit the mark for what I was expecting in a cinnamon sugar dessert, even without the crunch. 

The Member's Mark cookie dough brownies did an excellent job of fusing the textures of cookie dough and brownie batter so that the swirls of each were incorporated through each brookie. The combination did cause the brownies to be a little less rich than a plain one would have been, and the cookie dough to be a bit softer than normal. It was also missing the crispy crunch that cookies would usually have on the sides. The flavor of the cookie parts got a bit swept up in the bolder flavor of the brownies, too, and I missed some of the buttery savoriness I was hoping for from the cookie element. 

Compared to other versions of this treat I've had, the Member's Mark version was pleasant, but average. Compared to other items in this taste test, though, it was above the curve. If there had been some fudge in the brownie batter or a meltier chocolate chip in the cookie batter, I think the added moisture would have sent this treat way up the ranks. Making this dish at home with boxed brownies and a swirl of cookie butter might be the way to go next time I'm craving this dessert, rather than choosing the store-bought version, which lacks that crucial moisture. 

As far as tiramisu from the store goes, the Member's Mark does not disappoint. However, as someone who considers this my favorite type of Italian dessert, and who has tried it countless times from countless places, it was in the lower middle of the road as far as every tiramisu I've ever tried goes. It hit the mark with the sweetness, and the mascarpone was smooth and creamy while maintaining that classic lightness. It also didn't have any graininess or strange lumpiness that tiramisus on store shelves sometimes have. 

The dusting of cocoa powder on top offered the tiniest hint of bitterness, which was appreciated, as I thought the espresso flavor was a bit thin and didn't fully balance the sweetness and bitterness. Luckily, the sweetness wasn't out of control and didn't require too much grounding from the espresso and cocoa powder. If the ratio between mascarpone and espresso-soaked ladyfingers had been higher on the ladyfinger side, this would have been a first-place winner for sure. 

This French vanilla pound cake is dangerous. Once I tried my first bite, I was already poking my fork back into the slice for another. It's rich, heavy, and buttery without being too dense. The sweetness is light and mixes perfectly with the vanilla flavor for a cake that's totally craveable with or without toppings. Personally, I could have eaten the whole slice plain if I wasn't tasting eight desserts back to back. I also immediately thought that this pound cake would make an excellent swap for angel food cake in a homemade strawberry shortcake situation. But again, toppings would only make this dessert that much more craveable — it stands alone perfectly well. 

If you like a rich, flavorful cake that's not loaded with icing or exaggerated flavors, this might be for you. It seemed like there may have been a quick brush of simple syrup across the top, which I found fantastic as an extra moisture boost, but that was all as far as a topping goes.

To rank these desserts, I paid attention to three main factors: moisture, sweetness, and how much I enjoyed eating them overall. If it was a dessert I've had before, I also took into consideration (just a bit) how the Sam's Club Member's Mark version shaped up compared to others I've tried. But again, this was a minor factor. Moisture is a big deal for me when it comes to desserts, so that played a big role in how I ranked each. If I was having a hard time deciding based on my other metrics, I thought about which one I would choose if they were all set out in front of me. The only time this didn't apply was with the loaf cake trio. The lemon alone would have been top three, but since I didn't like the other two in the pack, it was bumped down the list.