9 Applebee's Cocktails Ranked Worst To Best

Chances are, most of us have childhood or teenage memories at our hometown Applebee's. The chain, which began in 1980 as a single restaurant in Decatur, Georgia, was opened by co-owners Bill and T.J. Palmer. The first location was named "T.J. Applebee's Rx for Edibles & Elixirs," a name that, while unique, proved too wordy to stick around and was changed once the concept was franchised. Applebee's has since expanded into 1,500 locations, making this chain a fixture for diners across the country.

With no shortage of comfortable booths, colorful wallpaper, and bar seating for adults who just want to catch a game, the neighborhood eatery has exactly the atmosphere you'd expect of a family-friendly chain. Likewise, the menu has something for everyone. You'll find a healthy selection of kid-friendly dishes available, and Applebee's has plenty of hearty appetizers to share on game night.

Although Applebee's may most often be thought of as somewhere you take the whole family, that doesn't mean you can't find great deals on alcoholic drinks. They're especially known for their must-order selection of margaritas. Beyond the margs, there's plenty of other fluorescent-colored, boozy concoctions to tickle your fancy. We tried nine of the chain's staple cocktails and have ranked them in order of worst to best, so next time you visit, you can imbibe with confidence.

The Long Island Iced Tea is one of the most popular cocktails of all time, quite a feat for a drink that mixes four different kinds of alcohol together with just enough Coca-Cola and lemon juice to sweeten its strong edges. It doesn't actually contain any iced tea, but rather got the name from the golden-brown color it achieves once the Coca-Cola is mixed in. Unlike the traditional drink, the Applebee's version takes on an impossible-to-ignore ultramarine color, accented by the lemon wedge used as a garnish.

This Long Island is different from any variation I've had before. Where the drink typically uses a combination of vodka, gin, rum, and triple sec, the Blue Hawaiian version substitutes Malibu Coconut rum and blue curaçao, which is where it gets its otherworldly color from. That isn't the only substitution — they've also used pineapple juice in place of Cola and lemon.

Based on the ingredients list, you might think this would take on a tropical, sweet flavor, but it really doesn't work at all. From the moment you smell it to when it's swallowed, all you taste is a foul mixture of alcohols. The Tanqueray gin clashes like a head-on collision with the coconut rum, while the vodka and pineapple juice add insult to injury. If you're going to order a Long Island iced tea at Applebee's, maybe just stick with the classic preparation.

The Captain Bahama Mama has a name and an inviting coral color that makes you believe that you'll be indulging in a vacation-worthy cocktail. While it is certainly strong enough to put you in a relaxed mood, the taste wasn't enough to entice me to grab my passport and hop on a plane to a tropical island.

Made on the regular menu with Captain Morgan, Malibu Coconut rum, and crème de banana, the bartender informs me that she prefers the happy hour recipe more, where (at least at this location) they use a different, darker rum that produces a more well-balanced flavor. As far as the version I tried, the fake coconut flavoring of Malibu rum dominates the taste, with the crème de banana souring the background. While not as violently strong as the Blue Hawaiian, this one is far from a smooth and seamless drink.

Vodka and lemonade is an easy drink to make when you're looking for something refreshing on a sunny day. Adding fruity flavor is a great way to dress it up, and, generally speaking, this kind of drink is a no-brainer when you're ordering out at a restaurant. In theory, this cocktail should be hard to mess up, but the Applebee's version unfortunately fell a bit short.

It's not that it's bad, so much as it doesn't taste at all like the name. We found ourselves wondering what happened to the lemonade, as any citrus flavors were completely lost in the drink. It's supposedly made with Ole Smokey Blackberry Moonshine, Tito's vodka, sour mix, and lemonade, but it really just tastes like a watered-down vodka concoction.

Perhaps the bartender was just being generous with the booze, but I missed the blackberry lemonade in this drink. It ranked a solid seventh place as it didn't taste bad, so much as it wasn't what one would expect based on the name.

The espresso martini is an excellent combination of caffeine and alcohol for when you need a little boost. A few steps up in terms of classiness from its cousin, the Vodka RedBull, this coffee-forward drink is typically made with coffee liqueur, vodka, simple syrup, and fresh espresso for an added kick.

We love an espresso martini in ready-to-drink form, and the Applebee's version stacked up with our favorite cans. Made with Tito's, Kahlua, and Owen's Nitro-Infused Espresso, this was a balanced drink that wasn't overly sweet, excessively strong, or sour. Just smooth espresso flavors rounded out with the sweet Kahlua. Plus, you get a chocolate Pocky to snack on while you enjoy your drink, which was an added dose of fun.

I really enjoyed the Espresso-So Happy Martini, but felt that it wasn't quite original enough to be ranked much higher. You can't go wrong ordering it if a coffee cocktail is exactly what you're craving, but the original drinks deserve a bit more credit.

Although I knew Applebee's is known for their margaritas, I thought it was more Dollarita and happy hour deals that created the draw than expert mixing. But, beyond the massive portion size it comes in, the Blue Aloha Mana Margarita was perfectly balanced and very enjoyable.

They use Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's Teremana blanco tequila as a base, a variety that ranked in fourth place on our review of celebrity-owned tequila brands. This tequila is also recommended by the pros as being a brand that's impressively high-quality for how affordable it is. The drink gets its iridescent teal color from the use of blue curaçao, and it's finished with pineapple and lime juice to round everything out. The result is smooth and sippable, with just enough spicy tequila flavor to let you know this drink isn't virgin. It's an expertly crafted classic cocktail that won a few bonus points for creativity. Despite this fact, there were a few other drinks on this list that stood out even more in terms of great taste and originality.

There's nothing like a creamy Piña Colada to make you want to kick up your feet and relax, and the frozen Applebee's version with a strawberry swirl hits the nail on the head. Bacardi Superior rum is combined with a blend of coconut cream and pineapple juice and blended to velvety perfection to make this drink. It is served in a signature Mucho goblet and swirled with a strawberry purée to finish.

The coconut cream is ideal. Unlike the Bahama Mama, whose coconut flavoring tasted artificial and empty, this one tastes just like the real deal and is complemented by tropical pineapple juice. It's so refreshing, I struggle to put this one down. The smooth consistency and bright flavors make you want sip after sip. But let's face it, a frozen piña colada is hard to mess up, and there were a few other cocktails that brought a bit more originality to the equation. 

The ingredients to Applebee's Shark Bowl are a bit of a mystery. We know the spirit of choice is Captain Morgan spiced rum, but what mixture of juices and syrups might create that cerulean blue color and cotton-candy flavor? One Reddit commenter, who alleges to be a bartender at one of the franchise's locations, suggests that it's a premade blend of blueberry, pineapple, and cherry juices called "Blue Tropical." That's not much help if you were planning to try and make the drink at home, but you may as well just head to the nearest Applebee's and try the Shark Bowl for yourself, as it's delicious.

This one is frozen and blended, with a cold, creamy, and refreshing mouthfeel. It tastes just like cotton candy with notes of tropical fruit, and the bright colors and candy garnishes make me feel like a kid at the State Fair. It wins extra points for being a unique drink that you're unlikely to find anywhere else, although the flavor is perhaps a bit indulgent for the average adult and could easily induce a headache in those sensitive to sugar. While delicious, there were two other drinks that leaned more towards balance than straight sugar.

The Perfect Applebee's Margaritas come with a base of 1800 reposado tequila, Grand Marnier, Cointreau, and lime juice. The two orange liqueurs they use are different than a basic triple sec and have more complex flavor profiles. They round out the spice of the tequila with some sweet, citrusy notes.

There are a few different flavors you can add to your Perfect margarita — prickly pear, mango, or strawberry. Prickly pear is a less common flavor, and one of my favorite fruits, so I had to give it a try. The color is extravagantly pink, almost magenta. If it wasn't already pink enough, it's garnished with a candied lip, which has the effect of making the concoction look like something Barbie might drink on a night out with Ken. It tastes fantastic, and the flavors are perfectly balanced, with the citrus notes of lime and orange playing harmoniously with the peppery tequila and sweet, fruity prickly pear. The prickly pear isn't super strong, which I'm relieved by. Sometimes flavored margaritas can go from well-balanced to disgustingly sweet if too much syrup is used, so I appreciate the restraint here.

Whereas the Shark Bowl, while delicious, is so sweet you would hardly be able to drink one of them yourself without getting a headache, this cocktail is smooth and crushable. I enjoyed the uniqueness of the prickly pear flavoring, but there was one other drink that not only tasted great, but had more originality.

The Golden Goose comes in a classic martini glass, which, unlike the impressive "Mucho" glasses that Applebee's is known for, is quite a small portion. The chain has remedied this size difference by providing a shaker with at least another full pour (or more) alongside your cocktail glass. I have to say, it does make the martini-glass experience a lot more enjoyable.

The cocktail is a play on a Lemondrop, but Applebee's has added mango flavoring, triple sec, and sour mix to the drink to make it a bit more fun and interesting — and it works. The rim is coated in yellow sprinkles, which I enjoy much more than a typical sugar rim, as it adds a bit of crunchy texture to the sipping experience. The flavor is bright and tropical, but not overwhelmingly sweet. I actually like this variation more than a standard Lemondrop cocktail, which would typically be made with just vodka, simple syrup, lemon, and perhaps a bit of triple sec. The mango makes the flavor more intriguing, and I keep coming back for more (which, thankfully, there's plenty of in that accompanying shaker).

While there were several cocktails on this list I would order at Applebee's again, the Golden Goose is both unique and delicious. They put their twist on a classic cocktail, and it works better than the original — a feat that isn't so easy to achieve.

To rank these cocktails, I've focused mainly on flavor. They're all about the same price and size, thus their quality is really about how they taste. Everyone has different preferences for what they do and don't enjoy, but some things are largely universal, such as foul flavors that come from mixing too many things together.

In addition to flavor, I did award extra points to drinks that added a bit of originality. Some cocktails are so standardized they're hard to mess up, but making a drink that's not as common requires a bit more skill.