5 Boozy Eggnog Brands, Ranked Worst To Best

Eggnog is a controversial beverage. Folks seem to either love it or hate it, with very little variation in between. As for me, I'm so far in the "love it" camp that I jump for joy the first time I see it in the grocery store refrigerators every year. I keep a carton of my favorite store-bought eggnog in my fridge at all times from November until January, so I couldn't wait to try these five spiked eggnogs to find out which is the best.

And to be the best, a boozy eggnog has to meet a few key criteria. First, it has to taste like eggnog. This might seem obvious, but as you'll soon see, not every eggnog passes this test. It should also be creamy — the thicker the better — and whatever spirits it's spiked with should complement the flavor without overwhelming it. Nearly all of the eggnogs I tried were good, but the best was even better than I imagined eggnog could be.

I love shopping at Aldi for wine and beer. Where else can you get a six-pack of IPAs or a decent Cab Sauv for under ten bucks? There are some hits and some misses, but for the most part, Aldi generally manages to impress me. Unfortunately, this is not one of those times.

The Petit Eggnog Wine Specialty, according to the label, is made with white wine, egg yolk, and cream. I was initially a little bit concerned about the wine, imagining what it would taste like to dump Pinot Grigio into a glass of eggnog. But whatever I expected, the Petit Eggnog Wine Specialty is so, so much worse. Whatever is supposed to be in the bottle, it tastes like eggnog-flavored Robitussin, and I promise I'm not exaggerating in the slightest. I tried really hard to find anything resembling real spiked eggnog, but I could barely manage to take a second sip.

I have no idea what kind of alcohol they used to get this to 13.9% ABV, but it's definitely not just wine. Which makes sense — even the most fortified wines top out around 20% ABV, so the Petit Eggnog Wine Specialty would have to be roughly 70% wine and 30% eggnog to reach the listed 13.9% ABV. There has to be some other kind of spirit blended in there, and whatever it is, it completely overpowers any eggnog flavor that might have once been there. Even at $9.99, this is one Aldi alcohol that you should leave on the shelf.

Christian Brothers Holiday Nog is made with Christian Brothers VS brandy and dairy-free eggnog. Non-dairy nog is usually a big red flag for me — I've never had one that could be even loosely described as "creamy" — but this one managed to blow my meager expectations out of the water.

The aroma is spot-on, with nutmeg and just a whiff of brandy. The taste is impressive, too — though not quite as rich as a dairy-based eggnog, the creamy flavor and mild spice are there, and the brandy is all flavor and no burn, which I love. It is thinner than a traditional eggnog, which I expected, but it's much closer to the real thing than any vegan nog I've ever tried.

The mild warmth of the brandy makes the Christian Brothers Holiday Nog super dangerous — in a good way. I could easily sip on it without thinking, at least until the room started to spin. Fortunately, at 10% ABV (20 proof), I could do quite a bit of sipping before I reached that point. I'm very pleasantly surprised by the Christian Brothers Holiday Nog, and it's a steal at $7.99 on sale, but even at the regular price of $10.49, it's a good deal. This is the nog that I would bring to a work or family holiday party to share and enjoy without getting too fuzzy in the process.

This award-winning eggnog is the one to bring to Friendsgiving. It's made with real dairy cream, Evan Williams Kentucky Bourbon whiskey, blended whiskey, liqueur, rum, and brandy, and it packs a boozy punch at 15% ABV. The eggnog is rich and creamy — not super thick, but not as thin as the Christian Brothers vegan nog — and though it doesn't have much of the nutmeg and spice I would have expected, it's still very tasty.

It definitely has a noticeable alcohol flavor, but it's not overwhelmingly intense. If anything, it tastes mild for a 30-proof cocktail, which could make it easy to overdo. I got it on sale for $9.99, but even at its regular price of $12.99, it's an excellent value for the price, and affordable enough to share. Though not quite exceptional enough to be one of my favorites, I would absolutely buy this spiked eggnog again.

The first moonshine I ever tasted was Ole Smoky, straight from the distillery in Gatlinburg on my 30th birthday, so this eggnog has brand familiarity in its favor for me. But even without nostalgia on its side, Ole Smoky Shine Nog would still be one of my favorites. It's surprisingly thin — about the consistency of whole milk — and I was briefly worried that it was going to let me down.

But somehow, as thin as it is, it's still incredibly rich. It doesn't quite coat the mouth the way a thicker eggnog does, but the flavor complexity somehow seems to trick my brain into believing it's thicker than it is. At 17.5% alcohol, I fully expected it to be the most intensely boozy-tasting eggnog on the list, but the moonshine flies under the radar, smuggled in under the guise of the spicy, creamy eggnog flavor.

That being said, this is definitely the most dangerous eggnog I tried. It has the highest ABV, but tastes the least like alcohol, and it would be very, very easy to overdo it. It's also tied for the most expensive at its sale price of $19.99, and it's the most expensive at its regular price of $25.99. It's absolutely worth the price, but I would pull this one out to share with two or three of my closest friends after most of the guests have left Friendsgiving.

Made with Skrewball peanut butter whiskey and 100% real dairy cream eggnog, Skrewball's Holiday Eggnog is exactly what a boozy eggnog should be, in every possible way. There's no denying the presence of real cream in the mix — in fact, I had to stir it with a steak knife before I could shake it when I took it out of the refrigerator, because the cream had solidified in the neck of the bottle. If you enjoy your eggnog chilled, pull this one out of the fridge 15-20 minutes before you plan on serving it, unless you're looking for a killer arm workout. Or, skip the fridge altogether and shake it with ice in a cocktail shaker. You could even enjoy it at room temperature — it still has the consistency of melted ice cream.

Oh. My. God. The flavor is unreal. If you can imagine making a milkshake with peanut butter ice cream, eggnog, and a shot of whiskey, you know exactly what Skrewball's eggnog tastes like. I'm not much of a whiskey drinker, but the peanut butter flavor mellows out the intensity of the whiskey, and the whole thing just works. At 14.75% ABV, it's strong enough in flavor that you're not likely to find yourself accidentally overdoing it — though I wouldn't blame you a bit if you overdid it on purpose. It was $19.99 everywhere I looked, and it is worth every penny. This is the eggnog to hoard for yourself and savor after dinner, preferably swaddled in a cozy blanket with your feet propped up and warming by a roaring fireplace. I'm looking forward to using some of this leftover eggnog in my brunch coffee this weekend.

I tried five spiked eggnogs from brands available nationally at grocery and liquor stores at a range of price points from $7.99 to $25.99. I enjoyed each one chilled, straight from the bottle (or jar, in one case), without any additional toppings or garnishes, and rated them based on the following factors: eggnog flavor, how well the alcohol plays with the eggnog, texture, and value for the price. Prices vary by location and are provided only for the purpose of side-by-side comparison.