If You Want A Perfectly Smooth Cocktail, Don't Use This Vodka Brand

Vodka may be one of the more neutral spirits out there, but that doesn't mean that you can just grab any old brand off the shelf and put together a top-notch cocktail. One person who knows this all too well is award-winning Scottish mixologist and social media figure Jack Jamieson. Speaking to Chowhound about vodka brands that bartenders avoid buying, there was one big-name brand that topped his list: Smirnoff.

It's probably not a surprise that, as a very, very standard well drink (it's the best-selling vodka in the United States), Smirnoff, and particularly the ultra-common red-labeled No. 21 variety, isn't something you'd sip either neat or on the rocks. It's not particularly smooth, nor does Smirnoff even publicly declare which grains are used to distill it. (Even other vodkas that bartenders avoid, like Grey Goose, make this public knowledge.) But for Jamieson, the quality is mediocre enough that it's not worth drinking, even if you're mixing it with other ingredients. And when it comes to value for money, it's not any better. "I avoid Diageo products [Smirnoff's parent company] generally as I don't believe they have customer experience at heart," says Jamieson. "[They] simply churn out the poorest quality product for the highest price they can get away with."

Probably the best that can be said about Smirnoff, and particularly the red No. 21 variety, is that it's divisive. Its detractors have no shortage of criticisms: Consumed without mixers (say, as a shot), it can be bitter and burn, and the harshest detractors might even liken it to rubbing alcohol. A more back-handed compliment that it receives is that it's seriously neutral in flavor. Some would use this as evidence that it lacks character, although its blandness could also be used as an argument for working it into drinks where you don't want to taste any alcohol, like a fruity French Martini.

It does have defenders, though. It's been put forward as a solid candidate for making your own vodka infusions, as its neutrality allows the flavors of an infusion to take hold. (Of course, that could be seen as another "it has no flavor" critique.) Yet it does have genuine defenders online who argue it's smooth and clean and therefore does the trick for cocktails. Those who don't find it flavorless might say it has a hint of sweetness that also plays well with other ingredients. If you're dead set on buying Smirnoff but still finicky about quality, you may want to look to the more premium Blue or Black-Label varieties, which tend to get better reviews.