How To Eat By Yourself At A Restaurant For The First Time (And Actually Have A Ton Of Fun)

It's normal to think that eating alone in a restaurant is going to be a big deal before you actually do it, as if the place will go quiet and everyone will turn around to watch you walk in and sit down, but the reality is so much more anti-climatic than that. Trust me, I've been doing it for years; I spend a lot of time travelling on my own, and trying out restaurants is the thing I care about most when I'm in a new place. In fact, I even went to a five-star tasting menu alone in Austin this past May, which was a wholly new experience for me, and it ended up being one of the most fun dinners I've had. The waiter would come out and tell me the story behind the dish (and there were many dishes). Then I'd get this little moment of silence to enjoy it on my own before they'd come back with the next plate — it was the perfect balance between socializing and enjoying time alone.

Because here's something people don't realize: You can eat alone at most restaurants, even at dim sum restaurants or other similar spots where the focus is on sharing. It's not weird. You're not taking up "space;" in fact, barely anyone will notice you're even doing it. So, just find a restaurant you're genuinely excited about trying and then show up confidently, like you do this all the time — because solo dining is an invaluable skill. Once you unlock it, you never go back.

Before you're used to it, the first few minutes alone at the table are usually the hardest. Your mind will try to convince you everyone's watching, or that the waiters are feeling sorry for you, but I promise that everyone is too wrapped up in their own meals and lives to actually care. So, ground yourself in the moment by asking the server something like what their favorite dish is. This will create a connection with another human, and you'll feel way more normal. And then, of course, order what you actually want to eat, because this is a rare moment where you don't have to negotiate or compromise.

If you're feeling very nervous, sit at the bar instead as bar staff are used to solo diners and will probably engage even more than just a server on the floor. Or, if you prefer a more quiet experience, choose a corner table and keep to yourself. And yes, some restaurants, like Waffle House, may have some unspoken rules for solo diners, but that's the exception, not the norm — most places don't care how many people are at your table. 

By the time your food arrives, something will have shifted. You'll get to enjoy your meal at your own pace, and you'll realize at that point that literally no one is watching. And for me, this has become a bit of a metaphor for life in a bigger sense. No one is watching, no one cares what you're ordering, no one is waiting for you to mess up. You are free. So you might as well do what you want, enjoy yourself, and savor every single bite.