The Canned Coffee Cocktail We Avoid Buying At All Costs

If a cup of coffee is a comforting way to ease into the day, a coffee cocktail may be just what you need to jump-start a fun night. There are plenty of convenient canned coffee cocktails on the market. Chowhound ranked six popular canned coffee cocktail brands — four espresso martinis and two white Russians — to determine which are worth the purchase and which are, quite frankly, not. Diving right to the bottom of the list was the Cutwater espresso martini, a 12-ounce can containing two shots of vodka, coffee cream liqueur, and "cold brew coffee flavor."

That last ingredient is where everything breaks down. A traditional espresso martini contains real espresso in addition to coffee liqueur, with a typical shot of espresso containing about 63 milligrams of caffeine. By comparison, the caffeine content of Cutwater's espresso martini is just 4 milligrams. This indicates that there's not a lot of actual coffee going into the Cutwater product. While this may be ideal for someone who wants to limit their caffeine intake at night, it's no wonder the end result falls short for anyone who loves that strong espresso flavor. Another issue is the creamy sweetness. Using a cream-based liqueur isn't necessarily anathema in an espresso martini, but it's not as common. If you're expecting the traditional, non-creamy recipe, this can may disappoint. Another issue is that, despite containing two shots of vodka, the beverage only has an alcohol by volume of 13%. The winning drink, Tip Top espresso martini, has an ABV of 22%, making the alcohol flavor quite a bit stronger.

If you find yourself with a box of Cutwater's canned espresso martini, it may be salvageable by adding your own shot of espresso or cold brew concentrate. That should amplify the coffee flavor and provide a boost of caffeine. One of Chowhound's complaints was that Cutwater's espresso martini seemed more like a white Russian (vodka, cream, and coffee liqueur — no real coffee) than a martini of any kind. While adding a shot doesn't eliminate the creaminess, it should balance out some of the sweetness. A dash of cocoa bitters could also help. However, even if you do prefer a sweeter espresso martini, Chowhound recommends Spark Plug's. It came third in the ranking, mostly because the reviewer found it to be a tad too sweet. Still, it was a marked improvement over Cutwater's offering.

If the lower alcohol content is your main sticking point, try adding a shot of coffee liqueur. Kahlúa is the obvious choice, but Mr. Black coffee liqueur, which uses 100% arabica coffee beans, is also popular. Some people also give their espresso martinis a creative twist by adding orange liqueur, Frangelico, amaro, or even ginger liqueur; have fun thinking about how to add bolder flavors and balance out the sweetness using bitter elements.