The Overhyped Trader Joe's Sweet You Should Keep Out Of Your Cart

When I visit Trader Joe's, I tend to take on a "I'm going to let Joe tell me what I need" rather than trying to wander the store with my blinders on and only add the items I went there for to my cart. However, one item that did make it into my cart — but in hindsight, I wish it didn't — was Trader Joe's Root Beer Float Pieces. At the time, I was constantly craving root beer floats, so I figured this snack would scratch that itch. It brings together a vanilla cookie base, which appears to be like a Golden Oreo sandwich cookie covered in a root beer-flavored candy melt. However, if I had read between the lines, I would have realized the other sensory component of this snack: root-beer flavored popping candy (think Pop Rocks) embedded within the cookie.

When I ate the first one, I thought, "Yeah, way too sweet." Vanilla sandwich cookies are bland and cloying enough; they don't need a waxy and poorly textured candy coating to cover them. However, it wasn't until I realized that the popping candy had become embedded in my wisdom tooth pockets and was bubbling — not fizzing, but bubbling like water on a stove. It was a sensory roller coaster from start to finish, and I ended up spitting them out because of how unpleasant the bubbling candy was (and I imagine it would be so even without the gaping holes in my mouth). It seemed like Trader Joe's couldn't make a good enough cookie, so it decided to put a literal fireworks show on in the background to try and disguise it. I wasn't fooled by this circus act, and you shouldn't be either.

I assumed other shoppers would absolutely despise these sweets, but it would appear that this one has gotten plenty of positive press. Many suggested putting them in the freezer or sprinkling them on vanilla ice cream (though I doubt even the best vanilla ice cream would make them palatable). Others appreciated that they were the kind of snack you can eat slowly. "They're a slow down snack, the kind you eat mindfully and really enjoy," said one Redditor. 

However, there are a fair amount of folks who didn't love them. "They weren't a hit for me. I had high hopes and they fell flat," said another Reddit user. Another had a similar sensory experience to mine. "I would really love these if they didn't have the popping candy, it's nice for me initially but becomes sensory overload on the next pieces," they said. This leads me to wonder who Trader Joe's made these cookie-candy hybrids for (besides shoppers like myself who are susceptible to gimmicks). They are so bubbly that even children would find them intense, and most folks with a developed palate would eschew their cloyingness. These are one of the few sweet items at Trader Joe's I wouldn't buy again (that, and the Gag-gle of Gummy Candy, which tastes weirdly wet), and I recommend eating them with caution, especially if you too have wisdom tooth pockets. Trader Joe's has much better desserts worth buying (like its sheet cakes, which I tried and ranked), anyway.