Why Asking A Restaurant To Turn Its Music Down Is Usually Not Worth It

So you're out for a romantic dinner, the server seats you, and boom: You're being aurally accosted by a stream of loud top-40 hits from the speakers. It's not the ambiance you were hoping for, so is it okay to ask staff to turn it down?

First of all, yes: As long as you're polite, it's a reasonable request and it can't hurt to ask. But there are a few reasons you're likely to get an "I'll see what I can do" from your server, followed by absolutely no change. For many restaurants, music isn't just a server hitting play on a random playlist, but something strategically chosen to set the mood or even boost sales.

Your chances of the volume going down are probably lower in a chain restaurant or somewhere corporate-run with a very particular approach to branding. In these cases, the music is likely determined by someone in a corporate office with a specific goal (supermarkets are notorious for this). For example, faster music has been linked with diners getting in and out faster. Slower music, as well as loud music, are both linked to potential higher drink sales.

If music was chosen with a specific goal in mind, staff may be reluctant or even unable to make changes. Even less-corporate restaurants may hire music curators to put together playlists, but if somebody within the restaurant has some control over music, they may be a bit more flexible (plus, asking to lower the volume is arguably less of a tall order than asking to change the music completely). Yet it'll ultimately depend on how finicky management is about their musical atmosphere.

If you want to the music's volume turned down, consider both who you ask and how you ask. Managers are more likely than servers to be able to make changes. Consider framing your question less as demand to satisfy your personal comfort, and more like a suggestion to improve the overall experience. For example, you may want to argue that "my dining companion and I literally can't hear each other," as opposed to "we just don't like loud music." Or better yet, deflect to somebody else and say that you can't hear each other because the neighboring table is yelling as a result of the loud music.

If the music is evidently not appropriate to the restaurant (say, fine dining with candlelit tables and pristine white tablecloths accompanied by industrial techno), you may also be in a good position to convince a manager that you're actually improving the situation for everybody. But correspondingly, if you're in a restaurant styled to feel like a nightclub, demanding a quieter atmosphere may just seem silly, so think about the restaurant's vibe before asking.

There are also other solutions you can try. For example, if the restaurant isn't full, asking to move tables is totally fine, especially if your original table is in a noticeably louder spot such as under a speaker. Otherwise, if you're truly noise sensitive, avoid the most popular dining times and go early or late, when a restaurant may be quieter.