AI Is Coming To Your Kitchen Appliances, But Is It Really Helpful?

This was glaringly inevitable. Just when we all stopped laughing at smart refrigerator memes, AI has come for our other kitchen appliances. Those refrigerators are now AI-powered to share a peek at what's inside, and optimized for streaming, which sure is a modern spin on the old countertop television set. Even dishwashers are Wi-Fi enabled, which could theoretically open the door to more of this purported intelligence, TBD. And one electronics behemoth, GE, promises tech that will function like a spectral sous chef. This take may become dated in the blink of a black mirror, but none of this is actually all that useful as yet.

Using ChatGPT to meal prep, for example, is not a good idea at a moment when the machines still seem wont to recommend glue as a pizza toppings adherent. Those dishwashers are merely a gateway to AI, as the connectivity itself is not synonymous with the robo brain fakes. But maybe the real deal geniuses in the C-suite should get everyone working to properly dry your drinking glasses anyway — now that could be a selling point. There also are just very few circumstances in which a person would substantially benefit from seeing whether they need to pick up eggs from the store via a screen, versus simply opening the refrigerator door in which said screen is embedded. Some of this stuff is even sillier, like a Bluetooth "smart" probe that ensures ideal protein temperatures by virtue of being, well, a thermometer. These are all just the things most likely to populate the homes of all the Worst Guys You Know. But the more prudent among us can probably wait a while to see what kitchen tech is worth it.

If you have a perfectly functional range right now, care for that baby like it's destined for a future as some goofball's coveted, holy grail throwback one day. Because that's not entirely unlikely. Not all of this aggressively forward-thinking stuff is going to go the way of avocado green and other questionable vintage decor trends, but some will. Or their parts will stop being manufactured for repairs, or they'll gain sentience, turn evil, and start cooking your steaks to well done or whatever. Unlike some particularly durable stoves, which can be refurbished for a century and still perform terrifically, AI appliances will almost certainly have shorter lives. Not to mention maybe inadvertently try to shorten yours, per the whole Elmer's pizza fiasco.

Take care of your current appliances and they'll take care of you. Clean your oven regularly with baking soda, even if it doesn't anticipate the cook time on your behalf. The same goes for your refrigerator, even if it can't show "Monk" reruns. Find your dishwasher's filter and clean that, too, regardless of its internet access status. And be good to any AI equipment that may enter your possession, as well, of course. You want it on your side if this all does take a more sinister turn.