The Methodology For This Chicken Sandwich Ranking Is Flawed, But Hilarious
While burgers may be among the most iconic of fast food fare, chicken sandwiches have also become a staple in the industry, providing a convenient and satisfying option for those avoiding red meat on a budget. But with so many fast-food chicken sandwiches available, it's safe to say that some are much better than others. Luckily, one pair of brothers put their stomachs on the line to create a definitive ranking of chicken sandwiches, and the results are hilarious.
In a video for the Mashed Youtube channel, brothers Scott and Brian Wilson endeavor to sample basic chicken sandwiches from 21 of America's most popular fast food restaurants. As they try each sandwich, they give it a place on a tiered list. The best sandwich receives the Mash-lin Star award, while the worst gets the Burger Time award (as in, you should order a burger instead). The final rankings are certainly enlightening, but the best part of the video is watching all the hijinks the brothers get into during their quest. The way they rank the sandwiches is far from scientific, but it leads to some incredibly silly and entertaining moments.
An imprecise but entertaining process
The Wilson brothers rank the sandwiches F through S tier based on their opinions and gut instinct. As you might imagine, eating 21 chicken sandwiches in a day is no easy task, and can possibly skew some of the data as the hours go by and the two get more and more full. By the end of the video the brothers are clutching their bellies, and it almost sounds like their voices are getting thicker with thousands of calories worth of breading, oil, and chicken. However, Brian and Scott stay professional and do their best not to let their impending gastrointestinal distress sway their rankings. In fact, it even seems to make them look more favorably on certain sandwiches. As Scott said of one S-ranked sammie, "There's nothing inside me that wants to eat another chicken sandwich, maybe ever again. And I couldn't even find fault in [this sandwich]."
There are some more concrete factors they look for when judging the sandwiches. Both get pretty excited when an option has "fixins" like lettuce and tomato rather than just a couple of pickles and some mayonnaise (which they get increasingly sick of). Scott especially is strangely obsessed with whether or not the chicken has "threads" — fibrous bits that to him indicate if it's real chicken. Their methods may be unorthodox, but it's hard not to trust the Wilsons' findings after all they did to get them.
It's about the journey, not the destination
The focus of the video is definitely the chicken ranking, but there are plenty of goofs along the way (including the two goofs doing the reviews). There are tons of gags, like the brother's microphone that's attached to a wooden spoon, and their idea to get their blood pressure checked halfway through. Spoiler alert: consuming dozens of chicken sandwiches is not a sound health decision. The reviews themselves are also giggle-worthy, especially as Scott and Brian become delirious from all the sodium. For example, the review for one F-tier sandwich is "If you're not dead inside, you're gonna want to eat somewhere else." Even if you have no interest in chicken, the video is well worth watching for the brothers' chemistry and humor alone.
Between establishments known for chicken like KFC, classic burger joints like Burger King, and lesser-known chains like Jaggers, the Wilson brothers truly run the gamut of chicken options, joking all the while. If you really want to know which fast food chicken sandwiches are worth your coin, or if you just need a laugh, this video makes for a funny and (relatively) informative ride.
Static Media owns and operates Mashed and Chowhound.