Restaurants & Bars

[PDX] Fat Man, Pink Eye, Good Ribs, Bad Ribs, Mole

Nick | Sep 25, 200405:25 AM     1

Woke up with an eye that looked like a littleneck crusted shut, occasionaly oozing yellow goo. Cancelled lunch date and went to the doctor. (If you ever do see a clam that looks like my eye this morning, you should skip lunch.) Pink eye. I don't think I ever even had it as a kid. Stupid nephews. Why should I suffer because my sister got knocked up?

While waiting for my prescription to get filled, I got some takeout from Szechuan NW in Vancouver. Mediocre. I wasn't thrilled by my food at Lao Sze Chuan in Chicago's Chinatown, but compared to what we have, it's ambrosia. I'd like to explore that menu at Fa Fa some more, but doesn't anyone in town do truly good Szechuan?

Friend was up this weekend for his birthday. Wanted to treat him, but I'm broke. However, my Entertainment Book still has two months of usuability. Found a coupon for Reo's Ribs and met him at 217 on his way up from Eugene. Carpooled over and arrived around eight. Ordered a beef rib dinner and a pork rib dinner. Got fries, green beans, mashed potatoes, and chili on the side. They said it would be an hour. Their fuses in the catering truck kept blowing so they kept losing power. Told them to call me on my cell and we left to go find an appetizer.

There's nothing better to get you hungry for dinner than another dinner. So we ordered the mole guajolote from La Ochoa and snacked on their nice help-yourself chips and salsa. They've greatly improved their chips from when I first started going there and they've expanded their salsa selection a bit now. There's a salsa verde that tastes like it has lettuce in it adding a bit of sweetness. We also ordered a couple horchatas. My friend had never had one. Not bad, but not the best.

The mole was quite good (and house made), served over nicely braised turkey. We got to watch Rubi on Univision and I think my friend fell in love. On the way out, we grabbed a taco al pastor from their extension out back. They had the spit going and my friend had never had real al pastor.

Just as we were finishing Reo's called to tell me our order was just about ready. 10 minutes later we were there. The sides were all forgettable to terrible. The fries were edible, as was the chili. But the mushy green beans with an overpowering garlic flavor and the watery mashed potatoes with congealed, bland gravy were not.

Only three beef ribs came to a dinner. The ribs weren't very meaty, either. I would guess that each pork rib, though smaller, had more meat on it. The flavor wasn't right, either. They tasted....old, maybe. Even if they had tasted good, $14 for three scrawny beef ribs and a couple of crappy sides is a gyp.

The pork ribs were much better. They were meaty and had a nice crust that yielded to a moist and tender interior. There was a noticable smokiness even through the mediocre sauce. There were probably six ro so ribs in an order. Very good and Snoop Dogg approved. Fo shizzle.

My wife had requested some dessert, so we stopped by Papa Haydn on the way home. It was packed. No place to park and my eye was swollen and weeping. Plus, one of the ribs at Reo's coated with too much sauce had shot out of my hands and down the front of my shirt. I surely wasn't going in to Papa Haydn packed with beautiful people. A half hour later, my friend emerged with a white paper bag and, inside, a slice of black velvet. (30 minutes with only one person ahead of him at the dessert counter. He said the pastry chef probably did $500 in orders while he waited.)

It seemed totally unfair to make my friend wait in line for 30 minutes (I would have left after 5), and then not even get dessert. Thank goodness Staccato Gelato is open late. I got earl grey and coconut. My friend got coffee and caramel swirl. All were good, even with the occasional ice crystals.

Finally home, I type with one hand as my other hand tears at the skin around my eye, trying to scratch the itch without spreading the infection. Oh well, two drops in the eye and then I get to drop my fat butt in bed. It's certainly fatter after today.

Fo shizzle.

Link: http://www.asksnoop.com/shizzolator.p...

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