The synchronicity between Seth and I is approaching frightening levels. The last two times he wrote a review, I had been at the restaurant the previous day. This time, we both have horrid Mediterranean lunches that both of us wanted to write up.
I find myself in many exotic locales for various jobs. Today found me in downtown Scottsdale, and feeling rather peckish after walking around looking for options. After passing by the Picnic Company, Bada Boom Pasta Room, and Schlotzky's, I ended up at the Pita House, in the same shopping centre as Schlotzky's, right next to the venerable Sugar Bowl. I take a quick look at the sandwich board menu outside and decide that a gyro sounded good. After sitting, I noticed one of th elittle rules of thumb that acts as a red flag... if something prominent is misspelled, avoid the place. The sign above their door offered "shawerma", which was properly spelled "shawarma"I have a seat, the server comes over, and I order my gyro and a water. The water comes out... bottled. I look around and notice the one other person with water also has a bottle, and all of the sodas and iced tea come out of the kitchen in cans, so I don't give it much of a second thought. (Yes, I should have said something about having ordered *just* regular water, not bottled. Still, I was thirsty and not thinking quite straight, so I cracked it open anyway.) A couple of minutes later, my gyro arrived at the table. It had lettuce in it. What the holy hell is LETTUCE doing in a gyro? Meat, tomato, onion, sauce, bread, DONE. Sadly, the sandwich was an absolute bust throughout. The meat had the same flavor and texture as the meat, the tomatoes were mealy and flavorless, I think there was a piece of onion somewhere in there, and they put waaaaaaay too much tzatziki in there, leaving me tasting cucumber all afternoon. The accompanying salad was nothing more than the same lettuce that was in the gyro, with the barest dribble of what I think was kalamata olive vinaigrette... I might be able to tell you what it was if they put more than half a teaspoon of dressing on the greens. I had better gyros from the cafeteria in high school. After the gyro came out, the server wasn't anywhere to be seen until he presented the check. The miserable excuse for a gyro was 7 bucks. Add on the $1.25 for the water... oh, that's right. If someone wants "just water", THEY WANT THE FREE STUFF FROM THE TAP!!! I honestly have no idea why I tipped the server anything at all after pulling a stunt like that. Maybe I'm just too nice for my own good.