What do you do after you’ve successfully channeled Anthony Bourdain and Ruth Reichl into one Twitter entity? Move on to spoofing Florence Fabricant’s New York Times etiquette series “Ask FloFab.

In today’s “Ask RuBo,” Ruth Bourdain answers dining dilemmas such as a boyfriend who eats like a 4-year-old. Advice: “Four year-olds eat quite well in my estimation: they don’t natter on about calories, they don’t waste time on idle conversation, and they don’t fucking complain about how their loved ones eat to a major newspaper.”

And what do you do if you eat faster with your friends? “If your friends are not finished but you are, that means it’s time to drink some (more) absinthe. Enjoy yourself. Take it easy. Go ahead and pack a bowl with tangerine zest and smoke it.”

Curious what would RuBo’s advice would be for this week’s Table Manners conundrum? How do you get the neighbors on board with backyard bunny slaughters? And who’s going to make What Would Rubo Do? (WWRD?) t-shirts?

Image sources: ruthbourdain.tumblr.com and nytimes.com

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