Is it me or is there naughty pleasure in watching someone take on a celebrity and take her down? Yeah, I thought so.

For your latest bit of guilty pleasure, head on over to Cooking … by the Seat of My Pants!, where blogger Jerry has an ongoing feature about the stable of celebrity chefs that is the Food Network. There are those he loves (Paula Deen, inexplicably) and those he hates. This week he takes on Sandra Lee, and I don’t think I need to tell you which side of the line she falls on.

Witness the scathing commentary (and this is just the stuff I thought wouldn’t get me in trouble with legal):

1. The old rule about never trusting a skinny chef doesn’t even begin to cover this woman. Sandra stopped being skinny and moved into the world of anorexic a long while back. This is most likely because her primary source of dietary nutrition comes from her cocktails, not the absolute slop she unleashes upon unsuspecting housewives everywhere. …

7. Does anyone in the world follow Sandra’s lead by redecorating their entire home for each and every gathering? For each episode of Semi-Homemade cooking, her studio kitchen is completely color coordinated to match whatever her inspiration for the show happened to be that day. …

10. Tablescape. I’ll never be able to hear that word again without feeling a bit nauseous. …

12. Sandra does have a talent, however. She’s mastered the art of bouncing her head off of her shoulders when speaking in true ‘dumb blond’ fashion. … I’m sure she thinks that it makes her look cute, what with her ‘I’m just a girl from the Midwest in my Mary-Ann braids’ demeanor, but it actually comes across like she has a rather serious tick that should be treated before someone gets injured.

Ah, gotta love it.

Oh sure, we all throw some personal touches to store-bought food items from time to time, but Jerry has some good points on the sheer inanity of the show (along with some great trash-talking): “Sandra’s opening catchphrase is ‘Welcome to Semi-Homemade, Where everything is quick and everything is easy.’ What she should have said was ‘If you don’t feel like the people you’re cooking for are worth your time, try this!’”

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