I am a fifty three year old single guy. Divorced for a couple of decades. I am thankful I have a great relationship with both my kids and their mother.
Often we will dine out as a group along with a few of the kids' friends and their spouses. They are all in their mid twenties and in various degrees of financial struggle. The table numbers in the 12-13 range. The ultimate bill is $300 + when all is said and done.
I, most times, pick up the entire tab. I am happy to do so for a number of reasons. First, I would gladly spend the same amount of money to have them as guests in my home (which for distance reasons is infrequent) and requires no prep or cleanup. Second, they all have their own money issues. Third, I absolutely hate the arithmetic minutia of splitting the bill. What better way to kill a nice evening of good food, conversation, laughs etc.?
I will often quitely (and out of sight) give the wait staff my credit card before the meal begins in order to avoid the end-of-meal financial accounting.
Everyone seems appreciative and thankful, but wonder if I am somehow being a dick by stealing someone else's opportunity to pick up the check. I also wonder if my son and son-in-law somehow feel like they are 'second-class' by my action.
I've often asked my daughter if anyone feels uncomfortable with this and she assures me they do not. But I think she would rather take a bullet than hurt my feelings.