A quick thank you to say this board was a huge help - here are my quickie reviews -
Plumpjack - by far the best service we received - truly flawless from the waiter / water guy / hostess / coat check - food was wonderful.
Betelnut - went against most chowhounds advice - the dumplings were pretty terrible - but the salad was exactly what I was looking for - just like Hanoi - fresh clean impossibly fine cut veggies - great.
Zuni - couldn't get in for dinner - so went for lunch - don't know if it was because it was their lunch menu - but by far our worst experience both in the food (although the french fries were sublime) and the service - totally underwhelmed.
Boulevard - we went as someone had recommened the lamb which is my husbands favorite - he loved it! Disappointing service in a restaurant at this price point - had to ask twice for water etc etc - but still a very good experience.
In Napa Valley -
Mustards - hands down our favorite of the trip - amazing onion rings - fantastic crab cakes - fantastic service - great setting - bought the cookbook & the 2 recipes I tried already were great.
Rutherford Grille - I heard it's a chain - but don't care - great service - no corkage fee - fantastic cornbread (and I HATE cornbread) and the best french dip of my life.
Cindy's Backstreet Kitchen - tied with Zuni for the most underwhelmed - the biggest problem with most of the places we tried was deciding what to order - didn't love the menu here - cramped seating - soso service - food was nothing special - can't believe it is owned by Mustards.
Auberge de Soleil - super service - great lunch - am going to try to duplicate their proscuitto & argula pizza - definite keeper.
Bistro Jeanty - my husband loved the caussolet - I was underwhelmed by the tomato soup - maybe had heard too much about it...
I know this website is for food - but have to plug our hotel in Calistoga - Cottage Grove Inn - 2 person jacuzzi & fireplace in room - had a roaring fire & champagne at 6 every morning - what a life.
Can't wait to return to your area - thanks!