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Houston's Lankford burger, gravity and levity

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Houston's Lankford burger, gravity and levity

avi | May 27, 2003 04:13 PM

Many years ago, as a photography student, a standing joke around campus was that the only thing Nikon cameras were good for was as doorstoppers or paperwieghts. This was because the older models were very heavy and cumbersome.

So it is with the Lankford Grocery hamburger. It is the only burger I have ever had in which the meat is placed on top of the fixings as a weight. The paper wrapping in which it is served is obviously not enough to control this cat herd of a hamburger.

A huge (3/4 inch thick after cooking) patty is used by Lankford to keep the generous portion of chopped lettuce, tomato, and onions from falling apart or slipping out from the mayo and mustard bedding at the bottom. It's so top-heavy that it has to be served upside down, with the sesamy seed top of the bun on the plate side. I guess that it would flip itself over like an upturned turtle if presented otherwise. I wonder how they serve the triple meat and bacon behemoth - with exterior bracing like a Mexican hacienda under construction?

A truly serious burger, this one is; a gravitas of the breed. The best, however? It could be if not for the overabundant mayonaise and mustard and the blandness of the beef as ordered off the menu with no special instructions to the assistive waiteresses. It is also - alas - grilled, not charbroiled.

Since it does require fine tuning, it cannot be the burger apex. But, it is close. In the meantime, Sancho Panza and me will continue our quest... Hopefully, Rocinante will be up to the journey.

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