I just don’t know what to … what the … this is a really confusing video.

The burlier bacon-apron-wearer is Bjørn Johnson, who appears to be an actual actor (he’s been on the Sopranos and Mad Men), when he’s not slapping around blond boys with salami.

The Salami Fighting Association has an equally incomprehensible website; apparently “meatball” gives you the power to “unite and ‘team up’.”

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