New York’s Daily News reports that after several years of searching, the source of Manhattan’s mystery maple syrup smell has finally been tracked down to a New Jersey food additives plant processing fenugreek seeds.

While we’re happy that this sweet story of phantom pancakery can finally be finished off, there is a downside to the news: It means an end to Gothamist’s amazing maple maps and its readers’ colorful conspiracy theories about the causes of the unearthly odor.

Some of our favorites (in no particular order):

• “I thought it was my own sweet bo at first!”
• “Is it … a fleet of cabs that runs on Aunt Jemima?”
• “We thought … it was [my friend’s] neighbors doing something kinky.”
• “You do realize it’s the cops testing air dispersion patterns so they can be prepared in the event of a chemical or biological attack, don’t you?”
• “Must be a lot of flatulent tourists from Vermont in town.”
• “It is a Jewish Bolshevik attempt to take over the upper west side … Note this is only a theory of mine. Nothing definite yet.”
• “Holy crap! I thought it was my neighbors! They are weirdass cooks.”

And possibly the finest piece of wayward syrup speculation, from a user appropriately named Jesus Christ:

“The smell is SHIT! seriously it’s the Dept of sanitation’s time of cleaning out septic tanks. Now if you are close to it it smells like total ass droppings but if you are like far away like 5-10 blocks away the diluted smell is similar to maple syrup.”

JC, listen to us: It’s time to switch to a different brand of sweet breakfast condiment.

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