Butter is butter is butter … right?

The New York Times, always the gold standard when it comes to non-WMD-related reporting, busts out this week with a report on pint-size dairies and their rave-inducing fancy-pants offerings.

These artisanal operations are turning cow, goat or sheep milk into simple, straightforward foods like crème fraîche, butter, buttermilk, ice cream, puddings, custards, yogurt, yogurt-based sauces and yogurt drinks. Many of these dairies also sell unhomogenized, and in a few cases even unpasteurized, milk with an old-fashioned farmhouse flavor.

And while reporting on this wave of microdairy action, the Times also manages to introduce us to some lovable new characters.

Nancy Nipples started the Pike Place Market Creamery in Seattle 30 years ago, selling milk, butter, cream and the like to help local independent dairies. … (Nancy Nipples is the name she uses to sign checks; her full name, taken after a divorce, is Nancy Nipples the Milkmaid.)

In addition to documenting the impact of artisanal dairies the piece also name-checks prominent restaurateurs such as David Chang and Thomas Keller, who swear by—whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.

Nancy Nipples? Seriously, New York Times? Were Tabatha Titties and Kathy Katatties unavailable for comment?

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