Internet wits are giggling over the recently publicized 26-page specifications for Pentagon brownies, drawn up for “operational rations.” (In other words, they’re guidelines for contractors who want to bake treats for the troops.) The specs are so mind-blowingly detailed that it blows one’s mind. As Katherine Mangu-Ward writes for Reason magazine’s blog, “Just grab a copy of document MIL-C-44072C and gather your ingredients: water that conforms to the ‘National Primary Drinking Water Regulations (Copies are available from the Office of Drinking Water, Environmental Protection Agency, WH550D, 401 M Street, S.W., Washington, DC 20460),’ and some eggs in compliance with ‘Regulations Governing the Inspection of Eggs and Egg Products (7 CFR Part 59),’ and you’re ready to go!”

The document itself is a corker. Some highlights:

“Nuts shall be either almonds, pecans, or walnuts or any combination thereof.”

“The formula for chocolate coating shall be blended on a dry-solids basis.”

“NOTE: The contractor is not required to follow the exact procedure shown below provided that the brownies conform to all finished product requirements in 3.4.”

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