Maybe I’m naive. Maybe I’ve lived a very sheltered existence. Maybe I don’t worry about things enough, but I’ll tell you, it never once occurred to me that grocery carts are—oh, how did Health magazine so delightfully put it in its latest issue? Ah, yes, “often teeming with bodily fluids.” Yum!

I mean, I know that other people touch them, and as I learned from previously living with a germaphobe who covered her hands before touching doorknobs, ATM buttons, handrails, elevator buttons, car doors, and library books, the world is a very dirty place. I just never considered all the various bodily fluids the shopping carts could be “teeming” with. By the way, isn’t teeming, like, the best word? It conjures up noisy visions of trillions of crawly bugs surging and swarming over each other in an attempt to get into your mouth, hair, eyes, ears, and nostrils.

Fine, considered me duly informed. The point of the Health blurb is to tell us that a Wisconsin company called PureCart Systems (I just need to say how much I miss spaces in company names: YouTube, MySpace, TypePad, and MediaPost—it’s as bad as restaurateurs not being able to use the shift key when naming their eateries) is marketing a new product that acts as a sanitizing car wash for grocery carts.

Both EPA- and FDA-approved, the sanitizing mist is sprayed all over the cart and has a “99%+ kill rate” on staphylococcus, “typical” E. coli, salmonella, listeria, yeast, fungus, and mold. It dries quickly and leaves behind a lemon-fresh scent.

Now if they could just work on making the carts rust-resistant.

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