Slashfood’s Nicole Weston writes of Wonder Pizza, a vending machine that dispenses pizza. You put in $5 and select a crispness option, the machine drops a pie into its souped-up toaster oven, and in two minutes or so your hot cheesy melty pizza pops out. Sweet! Might I make a suggestion, Wonder Pizza? Put these machines where people get drunk. Thank you.

Actually, all the food companies of America should get on this vending machine thing. If there were good food in vending machines, I would buy nothing else, because I hate talking to actual people. Who doesn’t, in this Internet age? In Japan they have vending machines that dispense all kinds of crazy crap: dry ice, live lobsters, used panties. If the people of Japan can get it done, then by God we can make a vending machine that’ll give me a great crème brûlée.

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