Thanksgiving turkey recipe
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Don’t feel like making the entire Thanksgiving dinner this year? Make it a potluck—and assign guests dishes based on the most scientific metric possible: their zodiac sign, of course.

The Perils of a Potluck-Style Thanksgiving

“Hey all! Can’t wait for Friendsgiving Fest next week! Please comment below with what you plan to bring so we can make sure all the sides are covered and avoid duplicates!”

From Here to ThereThe Best Potluck Products to Transport Your FoodRaise your hand if this has been your go-to meal coordination strategy for Friends- or Thanksgivings past. Now keep them raised if this has somehow still resulted in at least three identical green bean casseroles because “my mom’s is the best!”—despite being the exact same recipe from the back of the soup can—or seven-odd variations on sweet potatoes because only four out of 25 friends followed the directive to comment on what they were bringing.

Right. All hands still raised? High-fives all around.

The Promise of Astrologically Inspired Dish Assignments

Here’s a new strategy with an irresistible angle: Time to take the Taurus by the horns, hit a bullseye with Sagittarius, tip the scales for Libra, and catch Pisces hook, line, and sinker. Don’t leave it to chance this year. Tell your friends or relatives exactly what they are destined to bring that plays to their cosmically-prescribed strengths, so you don’t end up eating leftover green bean casserole until the moon rises in Capricorn.

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Aries: Turkey

how to cook a turkey roast turkey recipe

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Got an Aries bestie? Awesome. Have them over early in the day to assist with the big bird. The first sign in the zodiac calendar, your Aries friends are natural leaders who love challenges, so they will be just the fire sign you need to help you go-for-broke on an audacious deep fried preparation or even a Turducken (and maybe a Piecaken to bookend the meal).

Related Reading: How to Score a Free Turkey Today | Turkey Discounts at Whole Foods for Amazon Prime Members

Taurus: Wine

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Self-indulgent and pleasure-seeking, your Taurus friends are the least afraid to splurge. So if you’d rather populate your home bar with actual Champagne or other Thanksgiving-friendly wines such as a Cru Beaujolais or Willamette Valley Pinot Noir, rather than some basic bulk critter-labeled stuff, throw it to the bulls. When Taurus self-indulges at a potluck, everyone indulges.

Related Reading: Why Rosé Shouldn’t Go Away with Summer

Gemini: Sweet Potatoes

Mashed Sweet Potato Casserole with Bourbon

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Ah, the sweet mystery of sweet potatoes: sweet or savory? Savory or sweet? This Friendsgiving, let the twins sort it out: The sign of duality deserves the starch of duality. Plus Geminis’ numerous interests and pursuits have shaped them into the kind of ambitious people who might just make both.

Cancer: Appetizers

hot crab dip

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I admit, I don’t have any actual credentials as an astrological spirit advisor/menu planner, but I really like this idea because hopefully the obvious answer here is crab dip.

Leo: Cranberries

Make Ahead Cranberry Sauce

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Let’s be real. Your Leo friends are less interested in cooking than they are dressing up and being the life of the party, and what’s more, they are excellent in doing just that. Let them bring something easy that doesn’t require any last minute plating or finishing touches so they can get right to circulating. But if you’re a jelly hater, be sure to tell them canned cranberry sauce won’t cut it.

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Virgo: Stuffing

Classic Apple Sage Stuffing

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Down-to-earth, detail-oriented, and ruled by the goddess of wheat and agriculture, count on your Virgo friends to absolutely nail it in the stuffing category. Like maybe with our Brown Bread Stuffing recipe with Chestnuts, Apples, and Sausage. Or our Cornbread and Oyster Stuffing recipe. Virgo is also the sign that rules the digestive system, so again I say: stuffing it is.

Libra: Green Salad

green salad

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Libra’s calling cards are balance, symmetry, and harmony, so nobody is better suited to round out the inevitable carb-fest that is Friendsgiving than your Libra friends. Consequently, the calling cards for an excellent salad are balance, symmetry, and harmony—such as this Spanish-inspired salad with snappy watercress, sweet membrillo, and savory almonds—so it’s a double-win.

Scorpio: Pumpkin Pie

make ahead pumpkin pie

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The most enigmatic part of the Thanksgiving feast begs to be prepared by the most enigmatic sign in the zodiac. Scorpios aren’t afraid to play the long game, so I’d place bets this could translate to some home-made crust with an epic design. It would also be remiss not to mention that Scorpios in-life pursuits are routinely driven by…”dessert,” if you catch my meaning…

Sagittarius: Cheese Plate

cheese plate with nuts, crackers, and honey

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Basically, you gotta give the archers in your life something to chase after. Sagittarians have a love of learning and storytelling, so put those gifts to work for you and watch how they not only assemble a veritable cornucopia of great cheeses, but keep everyone enrapt with tales of bloomy rinds, Gewurztraminer-washing, and cave-ageing techniques.

Capricorn: Mashed Potatoes

Make Ahead Mashed Potatoes

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Is there anything more simple and yet more capable of delivering a nostalgic gut-punch than mashed potatoes? Second to the turkey, mashed potatoes are probably the item whose absence would be most likely to invalidate the whole Thanksgiving meal. So leave it to the Capricorns in your life—mythical sea goats who skillfully navigate both the physical and emotional realms.

Aquarius: Free Rein

keto guacamole recipe

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Free-spirited, eccentric, and off-beat, Aquarians aren’t necessarily all that interested in conventional choices. So throw this one out to sea and see what Aquarius brings back. You might just end up with something cool or exotic but that completely complements the goings-on, like maybe a pumpkin curry, a Cajun maque choux, or chocolate, which now that you mention it seems entirely underrepresented in the Thanksgiving canon.

Pisces: Green Bean Casserole

herbed fresh green bean caserole recipe

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Well, somebody has to, and as the most empathetic sign in the zodiac, capable of absorbing all of the pain of the other signs, Pisces deserves the honor. And as the most creative sign as well, it’s possible they might even be able to go beyond the can and reimagine the dish in a celestially superior way.

For more holiday tips, tricks, and hacks, see our Ultimate Guide to Friendsgiving and visit our Thanksgiving headquarters.

Header image courtesy of mphillips007 / E+ / Getty Images

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