Did you know that cabernet sauvignon is the “George Clooney” of wines, attracting “sophisticates with natural, unforced elegance?”

What’s more, if you prefer zinfandel, “You likely enjoy this high-alcohol red because you’re unpretentious and extroverted.”

These insights come from sommelier Alpana Singh, author of the book Alpana Pours: About Being a Woman, Loving Wine and Having Great Relationships, who was profiled this week in the Chicago Sun-Times.

The wine and relationship guru is on a mission to educate women about wine, dispensing cheeky advice like “Get over the ‘Pretty Boy’ phase” (“Pretty Boys” in this case being chardonnays), along with interpretations (that read like a horoscope) of what one’s wine preferences say about a person.

So, what if you like drinking sweet rosé or white zinfandel? Singh has bad news: “You’re possibly a homebody who’s not too knowledgeable about wine.” Better switch to cabernet.

See more articles