Office parties pose a dilemma: Avail yourself too freely of the Cranberry Kamikazes and you’re likely to end up doing the Dougie for an audience of open-mouthed coworkers who’ll instantly brand you a pariah. But act too stiff, sipping a club soda before sneaking out solo, and you’ll never get asked out for after-work beers. My friend, you need a drinking plan.

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