These Simple Rules Can Help Guide The Music Selection At Your Next Dinner Party
Between planning all the courses, beverages, guest list, and decorations, it can be easy to forget some of the smaller components of throwing a dinner party. For example, how far in advance to set the table is an important consideration. Additionally, whether or not to put on music along with what kind of tunes to select is crucial for an enjoyable event.
The rules for choosing music at a dinner party aren't super precise. After all, music taste is highly personal, and what works for an ultra-formal party of middle-aged professionals may not work for a potluck gathering of twenty-somethings. There are some useful, general rules for selecting music that can help enhance the vibe, however.
You may even be wondering if you should play music at all (or whether to just restrict it to the welcoming drinks, when people are standing around and mingling). According to Nikesha Tannehill Tyson, an etiquette expert from the Swann School of Protocol in Shreveport, Louisiana, the answer is yes, add some music. Tyson emphasizes that you shouldn't blast it, however. "Music can be played for the duration of your event, however, it should be in the background," says Tyson, speaking to Chowhound.
But what kind of music works best?
Music is the area where you, the host, will need to make the biggest judgment calls since there's not one perfect playlist or genre that can fit every party. It's not just music that should be on your mind, either, as hosts who exude a relaxed vibe will probably pull off a better dinner party. In the interest of setting the mood, Tyson has some general pointers to help guide you.
Tyson says, "The music should be upbeat and add to the atmosphere without being distracting, music without lyrics is best." The reason you'll want to lean into lyric-free music is that the vocals can get in the way of people's conversations. They can lead everyone to start talking more loudly to compete with the music.
Picking a music style is probably the biggest challenge. For example, smooth jazz may be a safe bet, as it's not too likely to bother anyone and hits a sweet spot between formal and casual although it could still run the risk of sounding cheesy, a little like you've put on elevator music. To get around this, you could try choosing some more exciting jazz that mixes in another genre to avoid a soundtrack that's too cliché. Alternatively, some relaxed R&B or folk rock could be good choices if you want something more contemporary. Classical music is a gamble. It may work if you want an elegant, highly formal atmosphere, but it could also be perceived as stuffy.
Other things to think about
Unsurprisingly, some genres will be generally unsuitable for a dinner party. Anything harsh and loud, like metal or techno, is an obvious candidate here. It's also not necessary to stick to just one genre or tone of music. You can mix a few different styles, perhaps to fit different phases of the party. For example, something more upbeat and boisterous might work while guests are arriving and sipping cocktails before shifting to a more subdued sound as people sit down to eat. Towards the end of the party, shifting to much softer, slower music could also help guests wind down. That might even drop a subtle hint that it's time to leave!
Lastly, if you're planning to play music throughout the party, there may be short moments where you'll still want to turn it off. Tyson says, "The music should be turned off for toasts and announcements." This ensures that there are no distractions while somebody is giving their spiel. In addition, turning the music off can also be a cue for guests to quiet down and pay attention to a toast.