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Sad Bastards

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Sad Bastards
1 Easy
Total: Active:
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Ingredients (2)

  • Bread. Toasted. Maybe buttered if you're gettin' fancy
  • Egg. I prefer fried.
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Sad Bastards are the original desperation food. They’re best if it’s not only the eating that’s desperate, but if some other major part of your life is in pieces, too. This recipe was originally developed, I’m sure, by whomever first thought up bread. But I first started making them while living in a teenyest-tiniest apartment in Zurich where I could only afford my eggs one at a time. I’d fry this up on my one sad burner and then sit on the floor to eat it. If you get the eggs just right…it’ll transport you, for just a minute or two, to a place where the thermostat goes above 62 and you can have 2 eggs – all to yourself – if that’s what your heart desires.

Sad Bastards are dinner for when you’re alone, still in your pajamas from the night before, watching too much tv (even sadder: don’t have a tv), haven’t shaved in a while…It’s only truly a Sad Bastard if eaten alone.

They’re also elemental. And delicious, depending on the ingredients:

Here’s the basic: egg on starch. The end. There are endless ethnic variations but, as they could be taken as racial slurs for those that don’t know me I’ll just share one. I’m Jewish so it’s allowed.
The Jewish Bastard is a fried egg on a bagel. You get the idea. Tortillas. Rice. Cornbread. Baguette….


  1. 1Toast and butter bread.
  2. 2Fry egg.
  3. 3Put egg on Bread.
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