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Restaurants & Bars

The Scrambler

JB | Jan 28, 2004 09:12 PM

The Onion once ran a headline that read "Denny's Introduces 'Just a Big Bucket of Meat and Eggs'." I found this ironic, as a local diner in the Madison, Wisconsin area (the hometown of both myself and The Onion) had been offering this for years.

The place: Mickey's Dairy Bar. The dish: The Scrambler.

It was about (I will not need to refrain from exaggerating) two whole pounds of eggs, potatoes, sausage or bacon, melted cheese and gravy. It had about 4000 calories, 140 grams of fat (all of them highly, highly saturated), and it took all of four minutes for them to make. It cost five dollars and it came with toast.

With a chocolate malted, it was God.

All of the real athletes (the kind who come from the midwest, who work out because they like to be able to break things easily, who never, ever shave below their necks, who carb-load with doppelbocks and who think scale is something you do to a cliff when you're bored) would drop in after practice to polish off a few.

Where can I find one here?

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