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Restaurants & Bars 1

Kozak's on 15th, new and TERRIBLE

cass | Jun 26, 200502:19 PM

There's a few new restaurants opening on 15th on Capitol Hill and last night myself and a few folks went to try out Kozak's Smokehouse, which is the reincarnation of Maguire's Irish Something and before that we can't remember.

The menu looked pretty big, perhaps even overly ambitious, mostly of the casual sandwich, salad, burger fare, with lots of "smoked this" and choose two sides that. Not Hound-fare, certainly, but low-key, no-frills. Good for the neighborhood, or so we were thinking.

They had a billion TVs going - happened to be on Wheel of Fortune. Maybe they are going for "sportsbar". Since they are new (perhaps it was even the first night) the waitstaff looked very deer in headlights. But they had Woodchuck cider on tap, which I love, and we were all willing to forgive long waits or whatever. I'm not a total harda**.

The food was TERRIBLE, I repeat, TERRIBLE. I had some sort of "veggie lover" sandwich which was basically a bunch of raw vegetables shoved together under a bun that was definitely not foccacia like they said. The only thing that tasted good about it was the black olives (because I like olives) and the mayo (and I don't really like mayo). The fries I had were totally anemic, soggy steak fry variety, not a sign of crisp anywhere. The "grilled" corn on the cob had to have been frozen and maybe rolled over a grill a few times. Disgusting. SO had smoked salmon which she said was disgusting (a CRIME in this town!), her roasted veggies were all slimey onions. Our friend had the brisket sandwich which didn't look all that appetizing, very pale and sad, especially considering this is their "specialty" or "bbq perfection" as they call it on the menu.

Everything was thrown on the plate with spinach underneath, but it looked like the 6 year olds they had running around the place put it together. When I took a bite of my sandwich everything fell out, and maybe I should have left it on the plate instead of eating it. Good thing we didn't go for any of the "all day breakfast" choices.

We were hoping it would be a nice place to go close to home if we wanted to avoid the "usuals" on Broadway, but I haven't had such a bad meal in years. What a shame.

We're hoping that the "22 Doors" place that's also new in this neighborhood will be better. It wouldn't have to do much to beat Kozak's.

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