As usual, my shalach monos muse waited till the last minute to strike me.
First it came up with "Beer and Skittles™" but the rumours that Skittles were going kosher turned out to be false, and any substitute, even if it looked exactly the same, wouldn't have that name, so the plan won't work. Maybe in the future, if they ever go kosher.
So it came up with a second plan: "Ring, sceptre, and crown." Specifically, a Ring Pop, a Pixy Stix, and a little bottle of Crown Royal. Pixy Stix™ are not kosher, but this time it's the shape, not the name, that I need, so any kosher equivalent would do. Any ideas, or should I just go out to Borough Park tomorrow and see what I can find?