Whether I'm planning a dinner party or organizing a group for a dinner at a restaurant I'm in a quandry about the "etiquette" of inviting friends I know will probably not be able to attend ~ other commitments, group dynamics, etc. As we all know, planning the menu or making a reservation at a restaurant is dependent on the number who have accepted the invitation. Recently, I offended a friend because I didn't invite her to a lunch and when I asked her if she would have attended she admitted she probably wouldn't have. My response was...that is why I didn't invite you. Now my friend thinks I still should have invited her and given her the opportunity to tell me she wouldn't be able to make it. This a very good friend of mine and I didn't mean to offend her but damn...why would I invite someone if they can't make it.
I guess I'm stuck in the middle ~ I see her point that she felt left out and maybe it is proper etiquette to invite a person no matter what but I also see it a bit like banging my head against a wall to ask someone I know who will tell me they can't make it.
This isn't a life or death issue but nobody I've spoken to can tell me what the proper etiquette is in this instance.
Thank you for your advice and comments...