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*You* eat the Uncrustables, Wolfgang Puck, or some thoughts on the substandard dining options at LA's cultural institutions


Restaurants & Bars 22

*You* eat the Uncrustables, Wolfgang Puck, or some thoughts on the substandard dining options at LA's cultural institutions

JudiAU | Mar 29, 2011 02:47 PM

Small kids + big city = enjoyment of the city's many museums and cultural attractions

We'd do it more often but lunch becomes a hassle because of late opening times and mid-day naps. It works best if I get a good lunch packed but sometimes we wing it and try and buy lunch there. This is always a horrible experience because the food is SO BAD.

Kidspace with a "Nestle Cafe"

(I know, I know that alone should have warned me off) The menu online from Wolfgang Puck looked basic but credible. It is HORRIBLE. Shriveled and desiccated Sysco burgers, pathetic little Uncrustables stacked up in the window, horrid quality milk and juice, depressing, anemic, and just gross quesadilla. Seriously, I know this isn't the business that put the swill in Swill Hut but it is almost worst.

I LIKE peanut butter and jelly. How hard is to make a decent pb&J? No, god forbid a very famous chef's catering actually will MAKE A SANDWICH. No, we get a frozen processed puck. Now I for one try to avoid violent metaphors when writing. My first thought was that I would like to bat him about the face with that frozen monstrosity but, no, that isn't right. I just want him to EAT ONE.

Peterson with Johnny Rockets

I hadn't been to a Johnny Rockets in ten years and hopefully it will be at least another ten years before I go back. They make a godawful burger.

La Brea Tar Pits & Page

Nothing really in walking distance on the weekends unless someone has suggestions?

Natural History Museum

Their full service cafe has been closed for almost a year but they've had a small cafe with packaged food downstairs for awhile. Much better than the alternatives, perfectly fine pre-packed sandwiches in solid kid-friendly combos like ham + cheese. They usually have a hot soup that the kids will like after we reduce the salt content with some water. Some decent quality snack food. Conventional milk.

But a note of caution: you might want to enjoy this place unless like you enjoy spectacles with clueless parents and sugar sensitive children. Why parents think as 3 year old should drink 16 oz of Nesquik (56 grams of sugar) before their lunch arrives. The children go nuts, the parents go nuts, and everyone leaves in tears. I witness this once or twice every time we go. Always with the Nesquik. I am now fascinated by the power of Nesquik.

Zimmer Children’s Museum

No food. Vending machine with particularly unhealthy snacks. Might be particularly unhealthy kosher snacks if anyone cares.


The best of the bunch. They have snacks, fruit, cookies, kosher hot dogs, and some pre-packed kosher meals outside of a café. The café food is decent although it can be slow. For a place that attracts a lot of children and families, it really isn’t set up for them. I don’t mean kids menus or anything but it would be nice if they had enough high chairs, room for strollers, or lidded cups.

Patina Group services a number of other instituions but after Swill Hut, I swore off all related venues forever.

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