I'd not be too worried about this servicing nonsense; choose a nice place and discuss it with them beforehand and you'll be fine.
this inexperienced waiter, decanter, stem ware blah is all just periphery window dressing.
you bought the wine from Napa, so I am assuming its fairly young. decanting won't be necessary, but its good theatre. if that can do it for you, great. if not, no harm done. again, ask beforehand. if they can't, open an hour before you leave home.
as long as the glasses, have a reasonable sized bowl then you'll be fine.
and trust me, it doesn't matter if you server is 17 or 70, as long as they point the end at the glass and pour liquid you'll be fine.
I worked in and with the fine wine industry in London for many years, and believe me all the pomp and artifice isn't important. One of the most common places that people in the wine industry drank was a little roast chicken rotisserie cafe in south kensington. you'd see people from Berry Bros & Rudd, Christies etc. all sitting down, eating chicken and drinking very expensive fine wine out of low ball tumblers. the theatre of the paraphanalia just does not matter.
have a great night, and I'm you'll both enjoy the wine. please report back.
Ps. that said, Marche Moderne would be a great choice; just because its a nice restaurant, and you'll be looked after without any excess ceremony.
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