...and why should you have to beg "not once, but twice" in order for her to cook spicy.
It's like showing your barber what hairs you want clipped.
She should cook it the way she calls it. Which right now is sorta on the bland side unless you plead for some heat that wake up the other spices and make the food more enjoyable.
She could aways tone it down for those who prefer, but the heat should be at par with the rest of that style of cooking.