Now that I have had a chance to review your post in full I realize I dont really know the area you are staying in very well so cant offer too many comments.
However in general dont miss:
The Nanxiangxiao long bao in the old city:
Nan Xiang Xiao Long Bao in the Old Chinese city (Yu Yuan) is located next to the zig zag bridge in a red building (also sort of across from starbucks look for the long line of people in front of a building on the warer), You will see a long line of people waiting for the takeout on floor one. I have never tried this, and instead recomend heading to the second floor, when you get to the top of the stairs turn left (do not go stright/right where they may try to take you). Buy the coupons for the food from the cash register on your right as you enter the room. You will want at least one xiao long bao ticket, one soup ticket (the soup is no good but this is the only way to get the needed spoon), and one ginger ticket (assuming you are alone). Then go stand next to a table and hover over it like a vulture
Vegetable dumplings (cai bao zi) also in the old city, but next to the temple. If you have the temple entrance to your back look to your right at about 2:00 and you should see a little window full of steaming baskets. Their vegtable buns are some of the best, if not the best, I have ever had a little expensive at 1 kuai each though .
Cun: [BROKEN LINK REMOVED]
Another spot you could try is Shanghai Moon on the corner of Chang le lu and mao ming lu in the basement of the Jing Jiang hotel. Alltough I am fairly certain the resteraunt is not part of the hotel. Allways have been happy with the food.
Places with views. Note, I am a sucker for views. I have allways been very happy with the food on top of the Jin Mao Tower (hyatt) on the 80 something floor call ahead if you are not staying at the hotel and do your best to get a window seat. The Japanese resteraunt at the Shangrila in Pudong has excellent food and an excellent view. The view from M on the bund is fantastic but the food is a)western and b) highly variable I do higly suggest stopping by for a late night drink or coffee on their patio. Finaly I have been a huge fan of the Sichuan resteratunt at the Hilton but as you may see below my last visit left me worried as niether the food nor service was up to normal standards maybe a fluke I dont know yet.
Harry crab? I have never heard anything about them being poisonus I sure hope not because I eat a lot of them!
PS: sorry for the spelling, Im in a rush