Which headline do you prefer? “U.S. 52 reopened to traffic” or “Twelve Tons of Smucker’s Uncrustables Comically Spill Across Highway”? While the first option is, in its defense, much shorter, the second really gets to the heart of the issue: 24,000 pounds of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches were dumped all over a highway in Iowa on Monday by an errant semi.
The sandwiches were heading from Dubuque, a city so boring that this writer was actually laughed at by locals after asking whether there was anything interesting to see or do in town, to St. Paul, which is considerably more fun. But currently running short on Uncrustables, if you’re thinking of visiting.