I Paid: $10.99 for a 750-milliliter bottle (prices may vary by region)
Then there is the ChocoVine approach. First, you play up noted wine nonproducer Holland by sticking a windmill and tulips on the label. Then you explain that the beverage you’re attempting to sell is, as the website states, “a fine French Cabernet subtly combined with a rich dark chocolate from Holland, paired together to create a decadent, silky smooth drink.”
This combination of wine, cream, and chocolate looks and pours like chocolate milk—although, if you hold your glass up to a bright light, you can see traces of red wine amid the Yoo-hoo. As for taste: Holy moly! It’s not wine. It’s not even vaguely wine. It’s something like Kahlúa meets Baileys, a creamy, chocolate-inflected cordial that is almost entirely lacking in fruit or tannins. You can just barely hear the wine gasping for air near the end of each sip, but it’s a minor player, mostly lending the alcohol that gives ChocoVine its 14 percent kick. Chocolate and cream are driving this bus, heading for a comfy party where guests sport appliqué-snowman sweater vests and nosh on Boursin cheese.
So it’s not terrible, as long as you tell yourself one important thing: “I’m not drinking wine. This is not wine.” If you’re looking to blow some minds over the holidays, purchase a bottle, bring it to a party, and watch complicated emotions swirl. Better yet, bring it to a party and put someone else’s name on the card.