Seeking punch line writer: A story in the British newspaper the Argus about a family panicked by exploding eggs reads like an Onion set-up:

Exploding eggs drove a family from their home and caused a safety alert in their quiet street.

The Sikder family were woken by loud bangs from their kitchen in the middle of the night.

Fearing a gas leak, they fled into the street and called 999.

But when firefighters investigated, they found some eggs had been left to boil in a pan in the kitchen when the family went to bed.

The water boiled away, the pan began to burn and the eggs eventually blew up.

“There was a loud, exploding sound and we couldn’t recognise what it was,” Mr. Sikder is quoted as saying. “I attempted to enter the kitchen, which is when I saw the sparks.”

Instead of devolving into eggstraordinary puns and hilarious yolks, sadly, the article ends with a gentle reminder to install smoke alarms.

See more articles