Buffalo Niagara International Airport isn’t exactly the crossroads of America, but it gets its fair share of customers. And a good chunk of them still don’t seem to have absorbed the regulations governing air travel and liquids: in a given month, according to the Buffalo News, “the airport collects more than 30 gallons of ‘hazardous material’—much of it liquor—from the flying public.”

You have to dig through another 400 words or so of boring anecdotes about airline security before you get to story’s money shot:

Alcohol’s end is hazy

TSA representatives said they didn’t know what happened to the liquor and [alcohol-based] toiletries. They directed inquiries to SAIC, the company with the government contract.

Company spokesmen said the TSA had asked them not to comment on the contract and referred inquiries back to the TSA, which said it could not compel SAIC to answer the question.

Finally, Lara Uselding, the TSA’s Midwest, New Jersey and New York public affairs manager, responded with a one-line e-mail, saying only that ‘they dispose of it in an earth-friendly manner.’

What’s your favorite earth-friendly manner?

Whatever it is, it’s got to be both smarter and healthier than this unfortunate bonehead who thought he could drink his way through security… to the tune of one liter of vodka.

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