Time magazine has published an exceedingly silly list of the “Top 10 Most Dangerous Foods.” Lazy beyond belief and essentially without any kind of organizing principle that might help give it shape or definition, the list includes stuff like rhubarb (pictured at right), because if you eat rhubarb leaves, they’re dangerous!; fugu, which kills a tiny handful of people over the course of a given decade; and coffee, because … well, someone got burned by it at McDonald’s, once.

I’d started to write an in-depth evisceration of the thing, but great minds think alike: Just go ahead and read the Epic Portions summary of why this list is so misbegotten. An amuse-bouche:

“Way to be vague again, Time. After years of being told by our parents that we need to eat spinach, Time has come to rescue us. I would like to point out, again, that according to Time eating leafy greens is more dangerous than eating Chicken McNuggets.”

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