I could blog the NPR Morning Edition story in which the Food and Drug Administration’s “point man on E. coli” was asked whether a bag of prewashed leafy greens is safe to eat and replies, “No, I don’t believe it is.”

But that’s just not where my heart lies today. Instead, I will remind you that fast food has a soul (although a dark and tortured soul), and that soul will be revealed today in a multiplex near you with the release of Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters. Thrill to the adventures of Frylock, a debonair box of fries; Master Shake, a stupid and venal shake; and Meatwad, a childlike ball of ground beef. Will the film enter the pantheon of enduring food movies like Tampopo, Like Water for Chocolate, and Big Night? Only time will tell.

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