Is that venerable web publication The Onion finally starting a food section? Its coverage of sports, politics, culture, and Area Man has been nonpareil. It needed only a food section to do itself justice.

Today’s issue features two articles that dig deep into the American food-industrial complex. The first is an explosive look at Little Debbie snack cakes: In “Heavily Processed Food Makes Pathetic Nutritional Claims,” the first-rate Onion journalists reveal that the makers of Zebra snack cakes are trying to leverage the presence of five percent of the daily recommended amount of niacin in each cake into a claim of healthfulness! (Of course since Twinkies actually contain rocks, the lack of pebbles in a snack cake can kind of be considered healthy.)

The Onion also conducts an exhaustive man-on-the-street survey about the recent invention of caffeinated doughnuts. The consensus:

That’s fine for people who like to be alert and productive, but what about the rest of us?

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