Just when you were hoping to stem December’s eggnog-built muffintop spillage, newspaper food sections are going all chocolate, all the time in a pre-V-Day blitz. And frankly, the editors are sick of the stuff.

Writes Tara Duggen in the San Francisco Chronicle, “In the weeks before Valentine’s Day we receive so many chocolate pitches that it verges on the disgusting.”

Yeah, sucks to be you, babe. But Duggan slogs on bravely through the chocolate river like Katherine Hepburn in The African Queen, sharing the not-wildly-surprising news that fair-trade chocolates are big in the Bay Area, as are wacky flavor combos like coconut curry and salted breadcrumbs.

The Oregonian puts the kibosh on the usual champagne-and-chocolate combo. Dry acidic wine doesn’t work with lush, fat chocolate: forgo the fizz and try an Armagnac or cognac instead.

In fact, why not put the chocolate into the liquor, rather than the other way around? Sounds better than a chocolate thong any day.

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