I had a terrible experience there last Saturday night. Here’s a look at what the evening was like:
Went arrived as a party of 4, although we reserved as a party of 5, with a 7:00 p.m. reservation. We showed up timely, but without our 5th guest, who cancelled last-minute. While standing in the doorway, with half our party literally standing outside in the cold, we were promptly delivered a lecture by the hostess, who was clearly very annoyed with us, on how in the future it would be a “simple courtesy” to call them ahead of time in the event of any change to the reservation, since they’re “very busy”. We understood, but explained that we only learned of the cancellation minutes ago ourselves. A little annoyed, and still in the cold, we were subsequently delivered another lecture by our gracious hostess, this time reminding us that there they offer two sittings, and our table was “spoken for” at 9:00 p.m., so eat fast.
After this warm welcome, we were finally invited in out of the cold, but left to stand idiotically in the centre of a busy restaurant holding our coats until our hostess finally decided we could stay and offered to take them off our hands. While I have it in mind, I should mention that at the end of our night we were asked to traverse the stairs and retrieve our own coats, since the staff had no recollection of which coats were ours (note to restaurateurs: the “memory system” is perhaps not the most excellent system for a coat check) At long last we were seated at our 4-person table, where the 5th chair (which was squished awkwardly into one side) was removed with much drama.
Recent Riverdale transplants, we really wanted to love Tati since we live down the street and long for a French bistro to replace our beloved Batifole. So we agreed to wipe the slate clean and start fresh with a clean plate, so to speak. The place was hopping. It’s a lovely room with a great bistro feel. Our waitress made her initial appearance at our table at 7:15 p.m. Tick, tock. She dropped off and menus and disappeared into the crowd. We didn’t see her again until 7:30 p.m. Tick, tock. We ordered a bottle of wine and some water. Our first pick on the short wine list was not available. Not a problem. We picked again with success. The wine came, was promptly poured all over the table, then wiped up unapologetically. I prefer my $120 wine in my glass, thank you. Mercifully we were left to pour the wine ourselves the rest of the night. 7:45 p.m. Tick, tock. Our waitress reappeared and we ordered our starters and mains, along with some frites for the table to munch on.
Starters came at 8:15 p.m. Tick, tock. We were getting concerned that we were going to run out of time. Surely this wouldn’t be an issue, after all, we were not responsible for the service which was slower than evolution, were we? As you know, good food can counteract bad service and elevate a dining experience, and vice-versa. Beef carpaccio was bland and tasteless. Calamari was a also bland and tasteless with the consistency of wet toilet paper. Perhaps by “grilled” they meant “boiled”. The French onion soup was decent, but so is the frozen Costco version. Mussels were excellent. Where were those frites? Ah, here they come, and pretty good too. 8:25 p.m. Tick, tock.
We awaited our mains, as well as the various pieces of cutlery that were removed and never returned. 8:40 p.m. our mains arrive. The cutlery does not. We renew our requests for cutlery. “It’s coming, we’re short-staffed”. Replied our annoyed waitress. No kidding. The hostess' lecture hung in our heads. Better eat fast!
The forks and knives arrive after 10 minutes and without apology, and so our guests can proceed to eat their steak. Still no sign of the requested mayo, water, salt and pepper. We give up. Steak cooked to order and very good. Cod with roasted garlic sauce on truffled mashed potatoes: 10 out of 10. Duck confit was soft, bland and utterly disappointing. Accompanying vegetables were nice, and although raw garlic has some proven health benefits as an antioxidant, the heaps of it laced atop the sweet potatoes made the accompaniment too sulphuric and bitter. Ugh, where’s that water? Wait, here comes the mayo!
It’s 9:00 p.m. (tick, tock) by the time the plates are cleared and we are offered coffee and desert. we order 2 desserts to share. They show up at 9:15. Tick, tock. Lemon tart was fantastic, with the perfect ratio of sweet and sour. Frozen chocolate mousse was also a winner. I’m not a huge dessert fan, so I usually prefer to share them – I just prefer to have my own fork, which seems like an impossible luxury at Tati Bistro. By this point, staff has really started to apply the pressure. The party of 12 that was set to swallow up our table at 9:00 p.m. swarmed in and were now seated at the 8-person table next to us. A particularly obnoxious guest in the party of 12 leered at us constantly (and eventually confronted us), adding to the discomfort. Finally, at 9:20 p.m., we were refused additional coffee by our now hostile waitress and asked to leave (“You were told about that when you got here, were you not?”) – of course not before paying the $400 bill. A brief discussion with the owner resulted in an offer to move to another table and finish our coffee. Desserts were knocked off the bill (or forgotten). Too little, too late.
After fetching our own coats we left. Outside we stared longingly into 93 Harbord wishing we could turn back the hands of time on this dreadful evening.