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Restaurants & Bars 13

Morton's in Santa Ana ... I'm exhausted just thinking about it. - LONG

Pate' | Oct 12, 200501:59 AM

We pull up under a shady spot in the parking lot all jazzed for a company paid orgy of beefy delight.

Walking into the reception area our eyes adjust to the twilight and we wait a short time that seems longer than it really is. At last a beautifully kempt nymph appears from the bar area to accept us into their club. "Oh yes, you called to make reservations". I appreciate her memory.

We are lead to their sparsely occupied dining area, it is 1:40 on a Tuesday, lunch hour, then are shown a lovely to the kitchen door? Politely I request the booth adjacent to it that isn't as accessible to the traffic pattern. They oblige easily.

We order our drinks. An iced tea, water, and a Diet Coke. A litany of water selections is offered. We've never heard of any of them. Tap water? No thank you. "What else do you have?". The litany of water selections is re-recited. My customers are confused. I ask, "Bubbly or not bubbly?". Clients: "Not bubbly". Mois: "Bring us not bubbly, not tap water".

We're hungry. The menu is enticing. Expansive yet concise. It gives us an opportunity to linger over the warm, yeasty, seductive onion bread. A round aromomatic loaf. Truly a lunch in, and of, itself.

But we can't stop; We are committed to a beefy orgazmathon.

One of my customers, a recovering vegetarian, orders the Filet Oscar well done. Blasphemy, but wise considering her status as a former beeforexic.

I order the Filet Oscar also, medium, as I find in higher-end steak restaurants this usually yields medium rare. The third in our party orders the Tuesday Special; Prime Rib. We are cautioned: "The kitchen slipped today. They overcooked the prime rib, it's all well done". We appreciate the head-up. Fortunately my customer likes her meat well done so this does not deter her. She requests that the horseradish sauce that the beef is plated with be removed. Remember these are customers. They get what they want regardless of their questionable foodie credentials. We order creamed spinach and steamed broccoli for the table.

Our drinks are served. Three wine glasses are placed in front of us for the water. My glass of iced tea is placed before me. A wine glass with diet coke is placed in front of my customer. Customer: "Can I have and iced tea-sized glass of diet coke?". Server: "We don't serve it that way as it will lose its carbonation before you finish your serving". Customer: "Can I have one anyway...and can I have a normal size straw instead of this 3" bar straw?". Server: "We only have bar straws, 3" or 6", but only bar straws". Client: "OK, how about a 6" bar straw?".

Finally after the drinks are served we settle into conversation, then our meals are served.

First to be placed is the Tuesday Prime Rib Special with extra horseradish... The server sees the look on my customer's face, "Oh you didn't want horseradish did you?" The plate is taken away. The 2 Filet Oscars are served as well as the 2 side dishes. My partner in Filet Oscar slices into her filet and WHOOSH, out flows blood. A perfectly delightful occurence if that is your preference but as a reminder, this is a former vegetarian that asked for her filet "well done". She is poised. The server is attentive. Client: "This is not well done; This is mooing". Server: "Let me take care of that for you.".

There is a busboy at an adjacent table resetting a table. We ask him for a bread plate and a new knife. He obliges. My customer waits for her properly prepared meal while eagerly sampling the sides.

The Tuesday Prime Rib Special is replaced.

I cut into my Filet Oscar, medium. It is mooing.

My customer receives her re-prepared meal and I adjust to the mooing and wait for a refill on my iced tea.

Well we had I nice meeting. I think I can officially write "Business Development" somewhere on my expense report. We ordered dessert to go, as it was 2 hours since we were seated and we all had other places we needed to be.

I'm curious. What is your impression of our experience?

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