Ever go to the movies and there someone in the next row who's already seen the movie and feels the need to explain all the oh-so-complicated plot points to their companion?
Because no one is smart enough to follow the movie on their own?
You hate 'em, right?
Well, I might hate the loud-mouthed menu explainer even more.
Last night we happened into an Indian restaurant here in Los Angeles (okay, Culver City). We ate there last week and liked it so we went back. It's a little different in style (maybe a different region of India?) from some of our other favorite Indian restaurants and it is also all vegetarian -- so there are lots of new and interesting things to try.
Just as we were perusing the menu and discussing what sounded good -- enjoying the mystery of dishes as yet untried, another table is seated and this lady starts explaining every single item on the menu to her companions, complete with opinions on what they should order, who would like what and how her kid eats "everything."
In a too-loud-for-the-room baritone that just oozed "everyone, listen to me."
And, you know, there is something to be said for a little expertise when desired. I've leaned over and quietly asked someone what they were eating because it looked good and I've answered the same question when it was put to me. That's cool.
But there's humbly sharing your knowledge and then there's outright bragging -- there's no other word for it, it was arrogant bragging -- about how much you know about a restaurant's menu (I also don't like people who have to call the host/waiter by there first name in a voice so loud it just screams to everyone else "I"m a regular, ha ha ha ha ha!!! -- but that's another post). And how you just know best what everyone else wants to eat.
But the worst was when a third party was seated. Another couple -- in my line of sight or I never would have noticed them -- sat down and started looking at the menu and chatting with the waiter.
Then ... BOOM!! ... out of nowhere, loud-mouthed menu explainer is practically shouting out across the room, describing the menu and telling this other couple what they should order and that "my daughter eats everything on the menu."
If murder were legal ...
Thanks for listening (okay ... reading).
I feel better now.