I feel like the Marquis in front of the tribunal.I expect the Host to have a long pointed nose and be wearing a steel helmet.
I expect the multitude of culinary sufferings to be of the kind that will make me grieve with an intensity heretofore unimagined.
These are my thoughts as I walk the walk of Chowhound shame...the walk that ends with the doors of Chuys being swung open and the very bowels of culinary Hell flayed open for all to see.
I can hear MPH's deep mocking laughter in my head as I'm seated.Not a good harbinger by any stretch.
I'm here unwillingly so I order the most innoccuous thing I can think of:Queso,small and a Bohemia.The Queso arrives in a small monkey cup with a basket of chips and two salsas:One red and one white with lots of green flecks.The chips are the highlight of the meal[along with the service which is both charming and rapid].House fried thin corn chips with a touch of corny flavor.The red salsa is bad but the white salsa is worse.The red's main problem is the only flavor is a disagreeable vinegary note.On second thought it really reminds me of when lime juice spoils.It's good one day and the next the lime is done.My guess is they used spoiled limes in the production process.The white salsa is spoiled.It's a sour cream base and I love sour cream and all it's iterations:Crema,Creme Fraiche,table cream,clabbered cream...you name it.If it comes from a good Guernsey or Holstein Cow then I'm down.But this salsa needs to be carted out to the dumpster.It's rancid.The Queso is the classic Extra Melt version available all over town with the exception of this version being scorched...not burnt mind you,scorched.It's inedible but the good part is I'm stuffed.When you eat food this bad you fill up real quick.
Later in the evening following a show I needed to soothe my tattered taste buds with some goodness.So it's off to Saul's on East 6th St in the Primo's parking lot.It took a good half hour or so to get fed because the word has finally gotten out.If you need Hog Testicles[and who doesn't?]or Pig Ear tacos then this tiny food cart is the place to be.I've written before about these beauties[Chowhound Assignment:Go A Place Never Reviewed On This Board]and the words still ring true.This is straight up Mexican Soul Food served from the heart of Blanca,a very fine Mexican cook.
I'm sure the Chuy's apologists are firing up the laptops and channeling Evelyn Wood as they send me all their favorite Chuy's menu items."you haven't lived til you've had their.......".I'm not interested.I'm sure there are many fine dishes on their menu but I'm not returning.With all the fantastic Mexican and Tex-Mex in Austin I don't have the time,money or energy to pay Chuys a return visit.